


Paradise

by SleepyNyash



Category: Ben 10 Series
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gaslighting, Hallucinations, Hospitalization, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mental Institutions, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-02-25 03:09:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22328953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepyNyash/pseuds/SleepyNyash
Summary: when ben tennyson's lucid dreams become hallucinations, he winds up in the hospital. he learns his life isn't what he thought it was.
Relationships: Kevin Levin/Gwen Tennyson, Rook Blonko/Ben Tennyson
Comments: 46
Kudos: 163





	1. Mundane

Ben Tennyson was sitting awkwardly in a chair, eyeing the man across from him in a small, dimly lit room in a clinic he'd never been to before.

“Hello, Benjamin- is it alright if I call you Ben?”

“Sure.”

“Hello, my name is Louis Bentley." the man greeted. "Do you know why you're here today?”

“I guess it's because my parents are worried about me.”

“What seems to be the matter?”

Ben paused before shrugging, drawing his legs close to his body and wrapping his arms around them, “I woke up for the fifth night in a row screaming.”

The man raised a grayish blond eyebrow, “Really? What were you dreaming?”

“It’s… well, it's a bit of a recurring nightmare… Except it's not the same nightmare every time.” Ben looked down at his white and green shoes before sighing, “My nightmares are similar but never really the exact same.”

“What do you mean?”

“Ok, so, when I was 10, I had this weird dream. I dreamed I was on a summer road trip with my Grandpa Max and my cousin Gwen. We were camping for the night, and a meteor hit. I went to check it out, and there was this… alien watch.”

“Alien as in… foreign?”

“Alien like ‘out of this world’ alien.”

“Ah.”

Ben shifted, “A-anyway, I reached out to touch it and it latched onto my wrist and wouldn't come off. The face of the watch- i-it was styled like a really weird watch- pops up and it's glowing green with a silhouette. I press it and… I become an alien.”

“What kind of alien?”

“Uh, kinda like the Human Torch from Fantastic Four, except more… my body becomes like semi hardened lava? But I can turn into more than just that one. It started off with just ten, but over the years it… over the years I gained more.”

“Are you a comic book fan?”

“Oh, yeah, big time.” Ben nodded. “B-but the thing is, it was so… lucid. It went on forever and ever, and I know dream time isn't the same as real time, but it… picked up where it left off, every single time. I’d wake up sweating.

“I… told my parents. They told me to journal it. Maybe if I journaled it, it would leave me alone. I’d realize how silly it was, that it was just a dream. This is the real world and humans don't turn into aliens.”

Ben hugged his legs closer, if possible. Bundled under his black and green t-shirt, his thick white and green hoodie, and heavy brown cargo pants, he shouldn't have been shivering. But he was.

A moment passed, neither of them speaking. The doctor's pen scratched against the notebook paper as Ben counted the seconds, the nearby wall clock clicking away mechanically. 

He took a moment to glance around the small, square room. The only standing lamp in the corner was dim- not bright enough to cause headaches but not so low that one couldn't see. There were only two seats- one for him, the patient, and the other for Mr. Bentley, the doctor. A small table was angled between the two leather seats, Ben’s neon green stainless steel water bottle resting on top.

“What was this recent nightmare about, Ben?” the doctor prompted patiently.

Ben hesitated before answering, “Call it dumb, but I’m afraid of clowns. Deathly afraid of them. No one knows why, I just am. I didn't watch Stephen King until a few months ago. As ‘relaxed’ as my parents are, they insisted I know and comprehend what horror was before subjecting myself to it.”

“Hm.”

“In the dream, I was 10 again. My cousin Gwen had been kidnapped by killer clowns. They drained the life force of people, usually in large groups, and they’d usually kidnap a few to keep… like… for on the road. I had to fight them to save her, save a lot of people. It was so scary. It felt so real, like lives were actually in my hands.”

“How did that make you feel?”

“Huh?”

“The idea that lives were in your hands. How did that feel? Did you feel… powerful?”

Ben laughed nervously, “No, it… it was awful. If I messed up, people would die. It would be the same as if I actively killed them.” He ran his fingers through his messy brown hair. “If I failed, people I cared about wouldn't be there anymore.”

“I see.”

“You do? Because I don't. I don't understand why I keep dreaming this stuff. My parents thought it was an overactive imagination but an overactive imagination doesn't wake people up in the dead of night.” Ben pressed his forehead to his knees.

“How are you doing in school?”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

The doctor chuckled lightly, “Humor me.”

Ben squeezed his eyes shut, “Terrible. I’m… not smart, like everyone else. I’m not artistic, in any way. Sure, I’m athletic to an extent, but what good does that do? I’m a **weirdo** and no one talks to me unless they're insulting me.”

_Scribble… scribble…_

“Well, I’m not a psychiatrist. I can't prescribe medication. But I do suggest that you schedule an appointment with one. They have medication that might help. In the meantime, perhaps start leaving notes for when you wake up afraid, reminding you it's only a dream. Continue writing. Someday you’ll look back and perhaps find inspiration there.” the doctor spoke.

Ben looked up, curiously, “Leave notes for myself?”

“Yes. Something you can look at when you wake up to remind you that this is the real world.”

Ben thought about it before shrugging, “Worth a shot. Won't help if I’m screaming though.”

“Would you like to meet the same time next week?”

“Sure.” Ben let his legs drop and stretched before standing. “Therapy’s supposed to help you feel better, right?”

“Today was your first appointment. There won't be real progress right away. Don't worry about it, Ben.”

Ben smiled politely, “Alright, same time next week.”

He scooped up his backpack and headed out the door Mr. Bentley was holding open for him. He continued down the hall and into the lobby where his parents were waiting. Immediately, his mother put her magazine down and jumped to her feet.

“Well?” she asked.

“He said ‘schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist, get meds, and leave notes for myself’.” Ben replied.

“Can I speak with your parents a moment, Ben?”

“Uh, sure.” Ben dropped into an open chair, dug through his backpack and pulled out his Nintendo 2DS. His mother and father followed the therapist a few feet, just out of earshot.

“He seems to have a very active imagination. He’s withdrawn and isolated. It's not a surprise he’d build an elaborate fantasy where he has friends and saves the day.” Mr. Bentley explained.

“We don't know why he won't make friends.” Mrs. Tennyson whispered, looking over at her son nervously.

“He’s not friends with his cousin Gwen?”

“Sir,” Mr. Tennyson spoke, his voice very serious, “Ben doesn't have a cousin named Gwen.”

The therapist raised an eyebrow, “And his grandfather Max?”

“Max has been dead for years.”

“I see.” the man glanced in Ben’s direction. “A **very** elaborate and detailed fantasy.”

“It would seem so. He fully believes every bit as well. It's concerning.”

“I just want my baby boy to be better.” Mrs. Tennyson sniffled quietly, taking a tissue and dabbing the corner of her eyes.

“Just try to remind him that, in the real world, there are no aliens. Eventually, his subconscious will receive the message and he’ll stop this.”

“Thank you, doctor.”

The Tennysons stepped back into the lobby and Ben stood, keeping his gaze locked on his screen, a concentrated frown on his face while he tapped at the screen. His mother placed a hand on his back and Ben recoiled.

“Mom.” he spoke through his teeth.

She pulled her hand away, “Sorry, sweetie.”

The car ride home was silent, save for the sounds of the car and Ben tapping away furiously at his device. When they pulled into the driveway, Ben looked up, still frowning. He unbuckled and climbed out, pulling his backpack out with him.

He walked through the front door following his parents before marching to his room, closing the door with a nudge from his foot. He kicked his shoes off before flopping on his bed with a sigh of relief.

_Can’t believe the Great Ben Tennyson has to see a shrink._

Ben sighed again, this time feeling infinitely saddened and ashamed. He crawled under the covers, returning to his video game.

_I fucking hate this._


	2. Invisible Stalkers are Worse than Real Ones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> when ben tennyson's multiverse selves manifest into reality, he worries his sanity is slipping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter does deal with hallucinations, darker humor (including suicide jokes) and disordered eating.

“Ben! Hey, Ben, wake up!”

Ben groaned and tried to burrow further in his blankets, “Not now, Albedo, I’m still asleep.”

“Wake up!”

The covers were yanked back and Ben was immediately awake. He scrambled up, looking around the room wildly, “Damn it, Albedo! You're gonna give me a heart attack!”

There was no response.

Ben blinked and looked around the room.

He was in his bed.

His bed, in his room.

Safe.

Ben sighed and spoke aloud, “I must’ve kicked it off.”

“No, I pulled them off, jackass.”

Ben turned and glared tiredly at the white haired version of his ten year old self, “You so did not!”

“Did too!”

“You’re not real.” Ben muttered, his few therapy sessions returning as he fully woke. He hadn't admitted that he’d begun dreaming while he was awake, his friends and enemies and alternate universal selves appearing wherever he went. He hadn't even told his parents.

“You wound me, Tennyson.” Albedo fake pouted.

“Not yet.” Ben rolled out of bed, ran his fingers through his messy brown hair before trudging to the kitchen, not bothering to change out from his pajamas yet.

“Good morning, Ben.” his mother greeted as she poured her husband a cup of coffee.

Ben grunted in reply before opening the fridge and pulling a soda out.

“Aren't you gonna grab me one?” Albedo demanded.

“No. Get it yourself.” Ben muttered under his breath.

“Did you say something sweetie?”

“I. Did you make breakfast yourself?” he asked, closing the fridge door.

“Of course.” his mother smiled.

“Smells good.” he added, grabbing a piece of bacon before sitting down at the table and nibbling it.

“Oh, you're gonna try breakfast at the table? Good fucking luck.” Albedo snickered.

“If you don't shut it, I’ll shut it for you.” Ben warned as quietly as he could.

“Did you sleep well last night?” Ben’s father inquired. He was watching Ben curiously.

“Huh? Oh, uh, I guess.”

“No nightmares?”

Ben shifted and looked down at his single slice of bacon.

“Did you take your medication?”

Albedo snickered, “Like a pill can make any of us go away.”

“I can only hope a stronger dose wipes you off the face of the Earth.” Ben grumbled.

“What did you say?”

Ben looked up at his dad, “Wha?”

Ben’s father frowned, “You **did** take your medication, right?”

“Oh, yeah, uh-huh.” Ben nodded.

“They're not buying it.” Albedo whispered. “Quick, change the subject.”

“Oh, uh, hey, can I go to the mall today?” Ben asked.

His parents exchanged a glance.

“I’ll be safe, I promise. M-maybe I just need to, just need to get out of the house!” Ben gave his parents his best puppy dog stare.

“Fine, but stay away from those emo stores.” his dad sighed before handing Ben a twenty, a ten, and a five. “Be responsible.”

“Absolutely.” Ben hopped up and ran to his room.

“Hey! You forgot me!” Albedo called, getting up from the table and running after Ben. He found the door closed and sighed before pounding on it with a fist. “Open up, Tennyson!”

“I feel kinda smothered, if I’m honest.” Ben replied dryly, digging through several piles of clothes, sniffing until he found the clean pile and pulled out a shirt, pants, and a jacket.

“Fine, be an asshole. I’ll just wait out here til you're headed out. Then I’ll follow you.”

“Why?”

“Because.”

“Because why?”

“Because fuck you is why.”

The door swung open. Ben was fully dressed, frowning.

“Not even if you asked nicely.” he responded, putting his silver and green headphones on, turning his music up, and heading out the door without another word.

A few bus stops later, the mall came into view. Ben stood up and walked to the door, hopping down when the bus stopped and the doors opened. He slid his headphones off, letting them rest around his neck, the music still audible.

“Wow, it looks busy. Think you’ll see your classmates?” Albedo asked.

“If you don't buzz off, I’ll push you into traffic.” Ben warned, glaring.

“You’re so cruel.” Albedo pretended to sob into his hands.

Ben grumbled, stuffed his hands in his pockets, and followed a small line of people into the shopping center.

“Hey, you gotta buy me chilli cheese fries! Extra onions!” Albedo demanded.

“I don't gotta do anything.” Ben corrected. “Besides, you're not real. I’m not about to waste my allowance on an imaginary shortie.”

“I hope you die a horribly slow death.” Albedo growled, his arms across his chest.

“God, I wish a meteor would take me out.” Ben muttered. He noticed a few people were already staring at him like he was crazy. His face heated up and he placed his headphones back over his ears, turning the volume up to tune out his imaginary stalker.

He wandered the stores, ducking in and out when he wanted to examine items. He decided to ride the carousel, hopping on a white horse. Albedo joined him, sitting on a nearby panther. He flashed Ben a grin and mouthed something.

Ben shook his head and leaned forward, sighing unhappily.

_It’s all no good, no matter what I do or where I go. Awake or asleep, it's not any better. How much longer until I really lose it?_

“That was boring!” Albedo complained loudly.

“Well, if you don't like it, why don't you go somewhere else? Don't you have anyone else to annoy?” Ben snapped.

“You’re in a mood.” Albedo noted, turning away slightly.

“What do you guys even WANT from me?” Ben demanded. “In my nightmares, you try to kill me! You hurt my friends! But in the waking world, you're just a nuisance.”

“There's no reason to be mean.” Albedo looked down at his shoes. “I can't tell you.”

Ben had never wanted to hit a child more than that moment. He wanted to strangle Albedo.

Unfortunately, Albedo wasn't real.

Ben pinched the bridge of his nose, “I’m going home. I’m tired.”

“You’re always tired.”

“And whose fucking fault is that, huh?”

Albedo stared with cold red eyes, his face an unreadable mask. Ben sighed, suddenly too tired to muster any more anger. He pulled the hood of his jacket up, stepped out and let out a slow breath. He lifted his head and gazed at the night sky, the stars glittering millions of miles away.

Loneliness washed over him, as it always did when he looked at the stars. He blinked rapidly, trying to discourage his watering eyes from spilling over. He trudged towards the bus stop, standing several feet away from the others.

Albedo reached out slowly, hesitated, then let his hand drop to his side.

With a huff, hiss, and soft screech, the bus pulled up and stopped. Passengers stepped out before the others stepped in, forming a nice little line.

Albedo sat beside Ben, staring up at the ceiling, frowning. He watched Ben skip song after song before letting his phone rest on his lap. Ben rested his head against the bus window, searching the streets restlessly.

“You know…”

Ben pulled his headphones down as he exited the bus, “What?”

“You’re a jerk.” Albedo finished.

Ben bit back a harsh response. He dug out the house keys, unlocked the door and stepped into his house.

“You’re moody and mopey and whiny and you shut all of us out, then wonder why you're lonely.” Albedo added, following him inside. He kicked his shoes off, scowling at the older boy.

“Of course I’m moody! I get two hours of sleep AT BEST! I wake up screaming half the time! One of you guys are always pestering me! My parents think I’m nuts and-!”

“Ben, who are you talking to?”

Ben froze, looking over his shoulder. His mom’s eyes were wide with alarm.

“I-”

He faltered. There was no good answer.

“Ouch, bad timing.” Albedo winced, an almost sympathetic expression.

“You stuff it, I don't need the peanut gallery right now.” Ben hissed.

“Sweetie?”

His hands dropped to his side, his head hung low, “Albedo.”

She hesitated, “Which… which one was he again?”

“White hair, red eyes, chilli cheese fry addict.”

“O-oh.”

Ben glared at Albedo tiredly, turning to head down the hall.

“I’m going to bed.” he grumbled.

“Have you eaten at all today?” she asked, reaching out and grabbing his arm.

Ben flinched hard, “Mom. You’re touching me.”

“Oh, my goodness, sorry. I… thought you…”

“I had that bacon this morning.” he answered, already heading for his room.

“What about lunch? Dinner?”

“I’m not hungry.” he sighed, closing the door after Albedo was in his room. He leaned against the door, the smooth wood cool against his overheated body. He slowly sank to the floor, legs stretched out in front of him, his head tipped back.

Albedo snorted, “If sleep deprivation doesn't kill you, starvation will.”

“Good.”

Albedo blinked, “Uh?”

“Good. Then this nightmare will be over." Ben stared up at the glow in the dark stars on his ceiling. His voice softened and he added, "Maybe I’ll be born into a better universe, one where my brain isn’t broken.”

Albedo rolled his eyes, “Your brain isn't broken, Ben.”

Ben kicked his shoes off and crawled under his covers. He burrowed further, trying to hide under the layers of bedsheets.

He left the lights on, not bothering to change into his pajamas. He stayed under the covers, self-pity and loneliness washing over him as sleep took hold.


	3. Don't Freak Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> for the first time in months, ben is left alone by his multiverse selves. he quickly finds out this isn't a good thing.

“Are you sure you're well enough to go to school?”

Ben waved his hand as though he could wave his mother’s concerns away, “Coffee is the magic that fuels me. I’ll be fine.”

“You were screaming most of the night-”

“I know, mom.”

“-and you were talking to… those people…”

“I know, mom.” Ben scooped up his backpack. He gave the most reassuring smile he could manage. “I’ll be fine.”

“At least have something to eat.” she pleaded.

“I don't have time.” Ben scooped up his backpack, kissed his mom’s cheek, and hurried out the door before she could stop him.

He practically ran to school, ducking into the library to hide from his usual tormentors. He looked around before sighing in relief.

_No stalkers, real or otherwise. Score. Maybe I can be normal today._

Ben pulled his 2DS out and started his game up, headphones around his neck so he could listen for the first bell. Half an hour passed, simultaneously flying by and dragging its heels in before the first bell rang. He saved his game before stuffing his console in his backpack and joining the mass of students.

Ben dropped into his seat, tucking his bag under his desk.

_Algebra… kill me now._ Ben thought, slumping forward and watching students stroll through the door. They came in groups, no less than three at a time, chatting enthusiastically to each other. A twinge of bitterness and loneliness surfaced and Ben buried his face in his arms.

He thought about Kevin and Gwen and Rook, longing for their company. Someone to encourage him, someone to keep him in line, someone to care about... He missed being in a group, feeling like he wasn't alone, even though he'd always been alone and never belonged anywhere.

The sudden rhythmic pounding of his heart, not fast but hard, forced him to look up and around.

_Just because I’m paranoid doesn't mean I’m not in danger._

Even though he was glad not to have an imaginary commentator on his day, Ben found himself troubled by the lack of multiverse Bens. In the past few months, he’d been hassled at best and enraged at worst by one Ben or another. He’d grown almost accustomed to the idle chatter among the dull discussions of math, science, literature, or physical education.

_This can't be good._ Ben thought, his heart beating louder with every minute. He blinked, trying to force himself back into the moment, desperate to understand what was going on in class for once.

The teacher was talking, holding out sheets of paper. She handed several to the first person in each row, who in turn took a single one and handed the rest down. He blinked and accepted the sheets when it was his turn, taking one and handing the leftovers to the person behind him.

He flipped it over when instructed, nauseated from nervousness when he realized it was a test he hadn't studied for.

_Fuck all the Bens that bothered me. Now I get to fail. Fun times._

The mechanical sounds of pencils scratching paper between the mechanical clicks of the classroom clock seemed deafening. He could hear the faint buzzing of the overhead lights and distant noise from other classrooms. The scent of sweat, grass, and syrupy sugar perfume mingled horribly in the air. Somewhere in the room, a fly lurked. Ben squeezed his eyes shut.

“Ben…”

His eyes snapped open as his heart almost stopped from shock.

He glanced around, keeping his head low so no one noticed.

“Over here…”

_Oh God, just pretend it's not happening. it’ll go away._ he instructed himself, already on the verge of fainting from fear.

“Do you really think ignoring **me** will help…?”

_Not him, not him, not him, please, God, anyone but him!_

He looked slowly towards the shadowy corner of the classroom, dropping his pencil as panic threatened to take hold.

“No.” he whispered.

The barely there image of his ghostly tormentor was lurking, not close enough for immediate concern but not far enough away for Ben to feel safe.

“Yes…”

“Ghostfreak!” Ben whispered, shaking his head. _He’s not real, he’s not real, ghosts aren't real, neither are ghostly aliens. You’re fine, Ben!_

“I’m very real, Ben Tennyson…”

“Shut up.” Ben managed through his teeth as quietly as he could. He noticed the teacher was frowning in his direction.

Ghostfreak started floating closer slowly and Ben paled. He looked up and toward the creature’s direction, lip trembling.

“Do you really think you're safe, ignoring me…?”

Ben started shaking hard, chilled to the bone despite the thickness of his hoodie. He couldn't talk, couldn't even muster a squeak. His fitness watch was beeping wildly, an indication his heart rate and blood pressure was rising.

“Ben Tennyson, turn that watch off, you’ll break your classmates’ concentration!” his teacher snapped. She sounded very far away, as if shouting through a tunnel.

Ghostfreak was less than a foot away. Ben jumped out of his seat, backing away with hands out in front of him. His teeth chattered.

“St-stay back!”

Ghostfreak chuckled, “Like you could defend yourself…”

“I! I’m serious!” Ben shouted.

“Tennyson! Return to your seat before you get detention!” the teacher warned.

He pointed at the alien, “He’s right there! You have to help me!”

“Begging for help…? Some hero…!”

“Shut up! Shut up and go away!” Ben felt himself bump against the wall and almost jumped straight up into the ceiling from surprise. He yanked a textbook off another student's desk and threw it at the alien only he could see. It sailed right through it and clattered to the floor. “What do you want from me?!”

“Your body, of course…”

“No!” Ben was hyperventilating, he could hear himself gasping for air like a drowning person. His toes and fingers were beginning to tingle. Spots danced in his eyes. “You’re not real! You're not real!”

“That mantra of yours won't save you, Tennyson…!”

Ben swayed, his watch beeping wildly. His eyes rolled up into the back of his head, the world went dark, and he collapsed.

“Ben! Ben! Wake up!”

_Can’t…_

“Call an ambulance!”

Beep beep…

Beep beep…

Beep beep…

Ben groaned softly, trying to peel his eyes open and register his surroundings. It took several seconds too long but finally he was able to see fluorescent overhead lights in an offwhite room. There was a whiteboard, a TV, and a pair of chairs. He managed to turn his head in the direction of the repeated beeping, startled to see a heart monitor.

He struggled to sit up, his limbs feeling more like lead than bone, muscle, and skin. He coughed and strained, trying to find signs of danger or safety. He spotted a door, his parents on the other side. His mother was crying, one of his father’s arms around her shoulders, hugging her close. His expression was a mixture of fury and concern. He seemed to be speaking to someone.

“Where…” he looked around. “Albedo? Help…”

Almost like he’d been summoned, Albedo walked out of the shadows, frowning at Ben.

“Where the hell are you?” Albedo asked.

“What?”

“We couldn't find you.”

“I’m right here. Hospital. Ghostfreak… he was in my class-”

Albedo’s red eyes narrowed, “What kind of hospital would jam us…?”

“What?”

The door opened and Ben sat up immediately, green eyes wide, “Who-!”

“Ben, sweetie, it's us.” his mother's voice was gentle but full of barely restrained sadness. “Do you know where you are?”

“I…” he looked around. “A hospital, I think.”

“Do you remember what happened?”

“Ghostfreak appeared in class, I got scared.” he glanced in Albedo’s direction. Once more, he couldn't read the white haired child’s expression. “I think I fainted.”

“Your teacher said you were rambling and screaming at nothing during a test, then you fainted. They tested you for drugs-”

“I am not on drugs!” Ben snapped.

His mother flinched, “-but it all came back negative. The doctor is going to ask you a few questions.”

“Answer him honestly, Ben.” his father instructed sternly.

“But-!”

The doctor smiled politely, “Hello, Ben, my name is William Gax.”

Albedo tensed, his red eyes wide as saucers as he stared at the doctor. “I’m going to get help.” He held his hands up, backing up slowly toward the shadows.

“Don't leave!” Ben pleaded.

The doctor frowned, “I’m not going to.”

“No, not you. I don't care about you. Albedo? Albedo!” Ben called. There was no response. He was already gone. He looked up at the doctor, “Why am I here?!”

“You fainted in class. Your medical history states you’ve been experiencing intense nightmares. You suffer from depression and anxiety-”

“Yeah, no shit Sherlock.” Ben glared.

“Have you been taking your medications?” the doctor asked as if Ben hadn't spoken.

“It doesn't matter if I do or don't, they don't go away!”

“Who doesn't?” the doctor asked.

“Them!”

The doctor looked to Ben's parents. “He has… imaginary friends, but they're not always… friendly.” his father answered flatly.

“Ah, hallucinations. Why didn't you tell your therapist and psychiatrist?”

“There's no dose high enough to get them to go away.” Ben sighed.

_So why did Albedo vanish?_ he wondered.

“Your test results show you're malnourished. Have you been eating enough?”

“Your test tells you I’m not eating, so you want to know if I’m eating?” Ben snorted.

“Are you anorexic?”

“What?” Ben gaped.

“Are you starving yourself on purpose?”

“No!” Ben snapped. The doctor stared with an almost empty expression. If he hadn't been breathing, Ben wouldn't have believed the doctor was even alive, the look in Dr. Gax's eyes bordered on lifeless.

Ben reached for his watch, wanting to fidget with it while being interrogated, then paled, “Where’s my watch?”

“We took it off.” the doctor answered.

“I want it back. Now!” Ben shouted.

His mother flinched again, “Don't shout, sweetie.”

“It’s like a security blanket.” Ben’s father explained.

“It covers his scars. Are those self inflicted?” the doctor asked.

His parents slowly turned to stare at Ben.

His face heated up, “I need it back!”

“Ben, your mental and physical health is deteriorating, rapidly. We’re concerned for your safety. Would you be willing to voluntarily sign in for inpatient care?” the doctor inquired.

“Ben!” a voice identical to his own hissed off to the side.

Ben jerked and looked over his shoulder at the black haired version of himself. Bad Ben. His black eyebrows were knit together, dark green eyes narrowed.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he demanded, as if Ben was a wayward child that had gotten past a locked door, rather than a psychotic mess of a teen in deep trouble.

“You have to help me.” Ben pleaded. “They want to send me to the psych ward.”

“Ben?” his mother spoke, sounding distant.

Bad Ben glanced at the doctor, his gaze shifting from irritation to deadly calm fury in a matter of milliseconds. “Agree.”

“What?”

“Do it.”

“What?!” Ben gasped. “Why?”

“Trust me.”

“Trust you? **Trust you?** YOU'RE THE GOD DAMN REASON I’M IN HERE!” Ben howled.

“I don't have the time to explain it, just go along with it! Volunteer. If you agree to it, they won't be so harsh. They'll underestimate you.” Bad Ben hissed.

His head was spinning. Never once had any of the bad versions of himself expressed any concern for him. Now Albedo had left, clearly worried, sending Bad Ben to speak with him, only for Bad Ben to tell him to check into the psych ward.

“Do you want answers, for once in your pathetic life, or do you want to spend the rest of your miserable existence, which probably won't be long if Albedo was right, scared and confused?” Bad Ben snapped.

That got his attention.

Ben turned away, staring at his stiff white bedsheets. His mind was reeling. Albedo had seemed genuinely confused, almost anxious.

The doctor watched, a look of practiced patience clear on his face. Behind his eyes lurked something Ben couldn't identify.

His mother was sniffling, trying desperately to not show how sad and scared she was. Her mascara must've been waterproof because despite the tears running down her face, no one would've noticed if they didn't look for it.

His father was scowling. Whether he was angry by Ben’s mental state or just angry at Ben not existing perfectly and probably throwing a wrench in his schedule, Ben wasn't sure.

Bad Ben was glaring with a fury strong enough to cause a star to collapse into a black hole, his normal haughty attitude pushed aside. He retained the air of authority, arms folded across his chest, head tipped ever so slightly so he was glaring down the edge of his nose.

_How the hell did it get this bad?_

“Do it.” Bad Ben insisted.

Ben sighed then looked up at the doctor, “I’ll do it.”


	4. Group Participation Mandatory, Hallucinations Included

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ben's first night in the psych ward isn't as bad as he thought. his first day, however, has a few surprises.

The first night in the psych ward was thoroughly depressing as Ben was questioned repeatedly, made to strip and get in a hospital gown while his parents went home and packed a bag for his stay, and he was assigned a room.

Ben stared at the surprisingly large bedroom. There were two twin-sized beds with thin crispy clean white sheets as thick as cheap notebook paper and an even thinner crispy clean white pillow on top. There was a small white bookshelf between the beds. His roommate didn't even stir when the lights were flicked on and Ben was ushered towards the bathroom for a shower, which thankfully wasn't as humiliating as he’d expected.

His nurse stood, or possibly sat, outside. Ben had been given a small bottle of shampoo and conditioner, the size hotels had as free samples to customers. The hot water was a relief and Ben turned it up every few minutes, watching the air mist and his skin turn bright red from heat. The pain grounded him. He allowed himself a few minutes to soak in the heat, eyes closed.

He turned the water off promptly and sighed.

Toweling himself off, he noticed Bad Ben glaring at the door with such intensity, Ben was sure he was planning to murder the nurse.

“Pssst.” Ben whispered. Bad Ben glanced over, a look of blatant irritation on his face.

“What?”

“Do I get an explanation yet?”

“Soon." Bad Ben answered. "For now, you need sleep. Your parents’ll drop your bag off and you’ll get it by the time they call breakfast. You’ll change out and eat and follow the schedule. Got it?”

Ben pulled the itchy blue scrubs shirt over his still wet hair and the stiff blue scrubs pants up. “At least I got to keep my underwear.” he muttered.

Bad Ben went back to glaring a hole through the door. Ben sighed and opened the door. Bad Ben flipped off the unsuspecting nurse and shouted profanities that would’ve made Grandpa Max reach for a frying pan instead of soap. 

Ben shuffled to his bed and flopped on it, groaning softly from fatigue. He was too tired to care about the uncomfortably stiff bed beneath him or the insanely thin sheet. As soon as he rolled onto his back, he slipped into a deep sleep.

_He was walking out from the smoothie shop late at night. He had the distinct feeling he was being followed. He announced he wasn't worth mugging as his entire allowance had just been spent, and his only nice possession, his watch, was already stolen. A pause followed with no response. He muttered to himself before turning and bumping into someone who was the mirror image of himself, save for black hair and darker green eyes._

_The way he spoke was odd, his voice almost disturbingly calm and haughty, full of himself and absurdly confident in his abilities. His tone was flippant, casual, as if he already knew what would happen, word by word, a script he’d memorized, every outcome planned for accordingly. He was in complete control of the situation._

_He was amused by Ben's existence, laughing and openly gawking at him. He allowed Ben to examine him, even touch him, assuring him he knew everything Ben was capable of before transforming into a ghost and announcing he was going to kill Ben._

_Ben ran into the store, screaming for help. His doppelganger, in the form of a one-eyed ghost cackled, scaring the customers and Ben into fleeing into the parking lot. Hiding behind a car was no good, as more of Ben’s doppelgangers were waiting, frightening him more._

Ben forced himself to wake up, not wanting to see the dream all the way through. He was already sweating, heart pounding at a sickeningly fast pace. He sat up, trying not to cry from fatigue. He looked around for one of his doppelgangers, squinting as he found the insane warlord ripped straight from a Mad Max like universe sitting on the only chair in the darkened room.

He looked up, “Yer up arly.”

Ben sighed and flopped back, staring at the wall tiredly. “My parents get me some clothes?”

“Pro’ly.”

Ben curled up into a ball, shaking as he struggled with the infinite sadness. It was heavy, soul deep.

Mad Ben sighed in annoyance, “Ya want me to check, mate?”

“Sure.” Ben answered quietly, not entirely sure how Mad Ben planned to check as he didn't even exist. He rubbed his right wrist absent-mindedly, relaxing as the screen on his fitness watch glowed softly. The squeak of Mad Ben's heavy boots softened as he left the room.

Ben counted the seconds, his eyes squeezed shut.

“Yeh, they brought ye a bag.” Mad Ben announced as he walked back in the room, sitting back down and propping his leather boots on Ben’s bed. Ben sat up, turning to glare.

“Get your shoes off my-” Color drained from Ben’s face as he realized the sheet under Mad Ben’s shoes had sand on it. He reached and touched it, feeling the bits of sand, looking up. “I’m… hallucinating again, aren't I?”

Mad Ben rolled his dark orange eyes, “Whatever ye say, mate.”

Ben shook his head and hopped out of bed, walking towards the nurse’s station. “Um. Hi.” he spoke softly.

One of the nurses looked up from her computer, “You still have a couple hours before wake up time and breakfast. Go back to bed.”

“Did my parents drop off a bag for me?” Ben asked. “I’d sleep better in my own clothes.”

The nurse gave Ben a look of mild irritation and stood up, marching over to a locked section of the station.

_How the hell did he get past that lock?_ Ben wondered, glancing over his shoulder in the warlord’s direction. Mad Ben seemed to be pointedly ignoring him, face practically buried in the pages of a survivalist magazine.

A soft thump and Ben whipped back around, hands raised in self defense before he realized the nurse had placed his backpack on the desk.

“Here.” She held out a clipboard. “Sign for it right here.”

Ben plucked a pen from the container and signed, accepting the backpack and scurrying back to his room like a frightened mouse.

“How’d you know?” Ben whispered, unzipping his backpack and digging through it.

Mad Ben flipped through the magazine, not even bothering to look up, “This is gonna suck.”

“Fine, don't answer me.”

“I’m just a hallucination, brah.” Mad Ben answered with a look of utter contempt.

Ben held his favorite hoodie close, inhaling the scent of freshly clean clothes. He pulled out a plain black t-shirt and a pair of jeans, tossing the jeans on the edge of his bed before switching the scrub for the shirt. He folded the jacket and tucked it under his head, yawned, and fell back into a dreamless sleep.

He woke up to the bedroom lights being flicked on, scaring him as well as blinding him. Ben sat up, disoriented. He closed his eyes and groaned softly.

“What the fuck…?”

“Breakfast.”

Ben sighed and pulled his jeans on before rolling out of bed, tossing the hoodie over his shoulder and walked out, joining the other prisoners (correction: patients) in line. Almost everyone looked to be in their early twenties. Ben realized he was probably the baby of the group.

The other patients stumbled and trudged like tired, underpaid, poorly trained stunt double zombies from a B film, complete with glazed eyes and a chorus of groans. They were ushered into a small café type room, complete with a few coffee machines, two vending machines (one snack, one soda), and a door that lead to the outdoor patio. A large cart with food was off to the side, a nurse pulling out and handing patients a tray.

Ben shuffled forward and tried to greet the nurse, his voice still soft from sleep, "Uh, h-hi."

"Name?"

"Tennyson. Ah, Ben… Ten-" A tray was produced and pushed into his hands. Ben sighed and turned, trying to find a spot away from others.

"Tennyson!"

Ben turned in the direction of his name, blinking as an oddly youthful looking boy was waving him down with a look of fury. Ben shrank and sat on the other side of the room, lifting the warm lid off the plate and sniffing the food.

_I've heard people complain about hospital food but this smells good. Looks good too._

Scrambled eggs, buttered toast, bacon, and a glass of orange juice. Ben nibbled a piece of bacon, trying to avoid eye contact with the person across the room glaring at him.

He ate quickly and stood, keeping his head ducked low. He handed the tray back to the nurse, who lifted the lid, nodded with satisfaction, and put it back on the cart.

"Tennyson, you coward, don't run!"

Ben walked quickly back to his section, realizing there were three separate sections of rooms of the psych ward. He slowed, momentarily forgetting someone who seemed angry at him was still nearby.

The paintings in the hall seemed odd, almost familiar to Ben. Depictions of stars, other planets, and black holes were hung carefully, varying canvas sizes and-

"Move it or lose it, brah." Mad Ben hissed.

Ben jumped a mile, "Jeez, dude, don't sneak up on me!"

"I was needed elsewhere." the warlord replied with a shrug. "Get movin before the pint-sized loser finishes eating."

"Who is that kid anyway?"

"Questions later, move it now." Mad Ben grabbed Ben's shoulders and started pushing him.

Ben pulled away, shaking hard, "Don't touch me! I don't like it. You **know** this!"

"Sorry, I guess." Mad Ben rolled his eyes. "Move or I'll do it again."

Ben bolted back to his section, sliding like a professional baseball player reaching home base. He stopped barely an inch away from the sofa. He stood up, breathing hard.

"Aw, gross, I shouldn't have run." Ben groaned, a hand covering his mouth. A nurse eyed him.

"Why were you running?" she demanded.

"I…" Ben swallowed back the food trying to return to his mouth. "I got nervous."

She rolled her eyes.

"She's a bitch." Mad Ben noted.

Ben shot him a glare and sat on the beige leather couch, propping his feet up on the sturdy wood coffee table. He looked up to see if Mad Ben was going to join him, but was surprised to find he was alone. Except for the annoyed nurse.

_How do they come and go so quickly?_

He looked up at the TV, groaning when he realized it was a news station. He resisted the urge to chuck a magazine at the flat screen.

Ben looked around, already bored. He spotted the movies on the nearby bookshelf and grinned.

_Score!_ he thought, hopping up and over the back of the couch, landing in front of the video cassettes and scanning them for anything interesting. He deflated when he couldn't find anything better than…

_Wait, they have X-Files?_ Ben pulled the video from the shelf and walked over to the nurse's station. "Can I put on X-Files please?" He tried to look adorable, green eyes wide and his bottom lip trembling slightly.

"No. Group starts in an hour." she answered flatly, not even looking up at him.

"Aw, come on, that's a whole hour to fill!" Ben protested. "What am I supposed to do between now and then?"

"Not watch a conspiracy theory movie that could fuel your psychosis."

"Fuck!" Ben turned and sulked back on the couch.

"Tennyson, you coward!" 

Ben flinched and jumped to his feet. A very short and skinny black boy stood fuming at the doorway. Ben tried to shrink behind the couch.

"How dare you run!"

"Sorry, I don't know you." Ben squeaked. "And I don't like people yelling at me."

"How could you not know me?" the boy stomped over and stood in front of Ben. "It's me, Billy!"

"Who?"

"Billy Billions! We went to the same middle school together? I sat behind you."

Ben tried to hide in his hoodie, "Doesn't ring a bell, I'm sorry."

Billy groaned loudly, "I hate you! I was better than you, smarter than you, and yet cause you were a confident IDIOT, everyone liked you!"

There was a moment of silence as he processed what Billy told him. Then Ben laughed, loudly. It sounded hollow and bitter to his own ears.

"Stop laughing at me! What's so funny?!"

Ben stopped laughing and stood up, "What's funny is that I spent elementary through high school being picked on to the point I'm nothing more than a ghost. The anxiety and depression brought me here. You think people liked me? That's a big fucking **joke** and you know nothing about me."

Billy growled, "Funny, cause I sure as hell remember you being liked by everyone."

"Well, I'm here to tell you-"

"Knock it off you two!" the nurse snapped. "I'll get security."

Ben bit back his protest and turned sharply, storming to his room. He sat on the edge of his bed and groaned, trying to calm down. But he didn't have anything to help. No comics, no books, no games, not even a stuffed animal. And his multiverse selves kept vanishing like they weren't really there in the first place, so he didn't even have anyone to talk to.

He sighed and flopped onto his back, staring up at the white ceiling, his hands at his side. A feeling like static bubbled in his chest, rising to his throat. It was painful and he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to even his breathing out and get the sensation to go away.

He willed himself to focus on the present, his surroundings. But all he was aware of was a horrible too hot and simultaneously too cold feeling spreading through his limbs. He could hear the pulse in his veins, too loud, too clear, too fast, pounding, pounding, pounding. He sat up and dragged his hands down his face.

_Pull it together, Tennyson. Bad Ben said my questions would be answered. There's a reason I'm here._

There was a knock on the door and Ben lifted his head. A different nurse was standing outside his room.

"Group time." he announced. He turned and walked away, knocking on another door.

_Did I really panic my way through an hour?_ Ben stood and poked his head around the corner, sighing when he saw Billy in line. He stood a few feet away, doing his best to look pitiful and small in hopes Billy would leave him alone. He drew his hood up to cover him, lowering his gaze.

He followed the line to a room with a lot of chairs and not much else. All the chairs had their backs against the wall, side by side, with barely an inch between them. People filled the seats, looking around to note where everyone else was.

"Pssst, what are we doing here?" Standing beside Ben was his favorite alternate dimensional self. The affection he felt for Ben 23 was a mix of brotherly affection and also parental affection. The urge to hug him surfaced.

Ben beamed and sat down, motioning for the rich twelve year old version of himself to sit, "It's kinda a long story."

"Sorry we left you alone there. We… well, we had to talk some stuff over." Ben 23 explained, sitting on the floor in front of Ben. Ben couldn't stop smiling. His anxiety had begun to fade.

"Is that everyone?" Doctor William Gax inquired.

The door opened again and a freakishly familiar voice answered, "Sorry I'm late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here."

Ben looked up and towards the voice slowly, all the color draining from his face. He thought he was going to throw his heart up from surprise.

"Ah, Mr. Kevin 'Too Cool For Group' Levin." the doctor smiled politely. "Thank you for gracing us with your presence today."

Ben wanted to jump to his feet and scream angrily at the doctor, then turn and scream excitedly at Kevin. Kevin sat on the only open seat, directly across from Ben. Their eyes met and Ben hoped he didn't look like a dying fish with his mouth opening and closing every few seconds as his last few brain cells scrambled for some dignity.

Kevin looked exactly the same as he did in the dream. Taller than Ben by at least a foot, broad shoulders and a scar on his chin. His haunted eyes were almost covered by his thick unwashed black hair. His black shirt displayed the almost faded logo of a band Ben couldn't remember. He wore dark gray sweatpants.

"Where's your-"

The door opened again, the nurse ushering a red haired girl into the room, "She was speaking to her psychiatrist." the nurse explained.

Ben couldn't feel his heart beat anymore.

"There you are, Ms. Gwendolyn. I was beginning to wonder if you would be here today."

Ben searched the girl's face, his still heart plummeting to his feet when he recognized her. She stood in front of another patient, who had the unfortunate chance of sitting beside Kevin. The patient hopped up and hurried towards the corner, where a few leftover chairs were piled. Gwen sat beside Kevin and looked up, her eyes widening when she spotted Ben.

"Hey, it's cousin Gwen!" Ben 23 waved happily, forgetting that no one else could see him. "Awesome! Kevin AND Gwen are here! Ben, look!"

Ben dropped his gaze to his socks, finding them very interesting now.

_How much of my life is a lie?_

He heard the doctor reading rules for the group, but once again it sounded distant. His heart had apparently remembered it was supposed to beat and had started up again, but it felt so slow that Ben had a crisis between beats.

Ba-dump.

_They said Gwen wasn't real._

Ba-dump.

_She's sitting right in front of me._

Ba-dump.

_Oh God, what if she doesn't know me and I'm actually crazy?_

Ba-dump.

_Or worse: what if she does know me?_

He could hear the others talking, exchanging advice or words of sympathy amongst each other, but as always, it sounded so distant. Like Ben was in another room, or a different dimension altogether. He fought his nausea and mixture of relief and full blown panic.

Ben gripped the edges of his seat, trying to coach his lungs back into a normal rhythm.

"What about you, Ben? You've been awfully quiet." the doctor prompted.

Ben's face felt hot, like the sun had cooked his skin, "Um. Uh. What… what was the question?" he asked quietly, his gaze still on the floor.

"What's on your mind?"

"My mind." Ben echoed.

_I'm wondering if I lost that. When and where. Did I ever have one?_

"I. Don't. I don't." he shook his head. "Don't feel like sharing."

"That's fine. It is your first day here. But I expect you to share tomorrow."

_Fat fucking chance._

Ben squeezed his eyes shut, trying to steady his breathing. He could feel Kevin's almost apathetic stare on him along with Gwen's curious gaze. He wanted so badly to talk to them, but a sense of paranoia and dread seized him.

Group was dismissed shortly thereafter. Ben lingered, hesitating. He lifted his head a little and Kevin nudged him into the hall. Gwen whispered, "Ben, is it really you?"

Ben nodded, "Ben Tennyson… you're Gwen, and he's Kevin. You… know me?"

"Of course, doofus!" Gwen flung her arms around her cousin. Ben wrapped his arms around her and pressed his face against her shoulder. She was warm, her shirt was soft. There was no way she couldn't be real.

"You're real. You're here." Ben breathed.

"We're here." Kevin agreed, patting Ben's back.

Ben pulled away, "I'm so glad to see you guys. You won't believe what I've been through."

"We can talk about it later. It's not safe here." Gwen interrupted. "Later."

"I'm so happy to see you two." Ben managed. He waved and headed back to his section of the psych ward, his heart pounding. His head was spinning from relief and confusion. Kevin and Gwen were real. They knew him.

Everything seemed a little better.


	5. You Weren't Supposed to be Real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> as ben struggles to separate the truth from the lies he's been fed all his life, he meets with someone else he didn't think existed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://youtu.be/rfdsTi5Kmnc

Ben was rudely pulled from his fitful sleep on his uncomfortable hospital bed by his 'bad' counterpart who yanked the thin hospital sheet off the bed. Immediately assaulted by the cold air, his nightmare faded, bringing the psych ward bedroom into view.

"Why do you hate me?" Ben groaned quietly, blinking the sleep away as he sat up. He heard his back pop and he slouched forward tiredly.

"Get up. Get moving. You need to wake up." Bad Ben commanded.

"Why?"

"Because I have a surprise for you."

"I can't take any more surprises. I'll probably have a heart attack and die if I have another surprise." Ben protested quietly.

"I promise you'll like it." the black haired boy responded, rolling his dark green eyes. "Besides, I'm not asking. I'm telling. Get your ass up."

Ben sighed in annoyance but stretched before hopping out of bed. He tugged his hoodie on and glared tiredly. "Now what?"

Bad Ben pointed to the ceiling, "See that vent?"

"Yeah. What about it?" Ben glared tiredly up at the air vent.

"You're gonna follow me through it."

"Do I **look** like a secret agent to you? I'm not Clint Barton!" Ben hissed.

"Again, why do you think I'm asking?" Bad Ben smirked. "Now, shut up and follow me."

"But what about-"

"What part of 'shut up' did you miss? Can it, loser, we're going on a trip." Bad Ben jumped, his fingers shoving the vent cover up and over by an inch. He jumped again and shoved it harder, repeating his actions until the vent cover was out of the way. He flashed Ben a look of excitement that forced Ben to question if he was about to be murdered.

Bad Ben jumped once more, hauling himself up and into the shadows of the ventilation system.

Ben counted the seconds between heartbeats before following his doppelganger into the ventilation system. He wiggled and scooted a few inches before placing the cover back in its place.

"Ben?" he whispered.

"Shhh!" Bad Ben hissed. "Stay quiet. Move slowly."

Ben's eyes adjusted to the darkness and he realized his darker haired counterpart was wearing glow in the dark shoelaces. He bit back a laugh at the absurdity of an evil teen with glow in the dark shoelaces and crawled after him.

They crawled through the absurdly wide metal vents for what seemed like an eternity. Ben could hear his pulse in his ears, pounding deafeningly, the only other sound audible being his breathing. The air was still and stale, no air flowing as they moved. The metal under them was cool and dusty.

Finally, Bad Ben lifted another vent cover up and dropped out, his feet barely making a noise as they touched the floor.

"It's safe. Drop down." Bad Ben announced.

Ben peeked over the edge, gulping nervously, "That's pretty far."

"You'll be fine. Just do it."

Ben shifted, turning so his feet dangled over the edge. He closed his eyes and dropped, hitting the ground and rolling before jumping up and looking around the empty hallway.

"This… doesn't…" he whispered. His mind almost couldn't process his surroundings. Flat out denial, unsure and unwilling to accept the startling difference in setting after only a few minutes of climbing through vents.

It seemed to be ripped straight out of a horror movie or a horror game. There was no color to be found except black, white, or stainless steel gray. Despite the lack of AC, the hallway was cold. Ben half expected a homicidal maniac to run at him from around the corner before remembering Bad Ben was with him.

_With my luck, he wouldn't protect me. He'd get the fucking popcorn and start placing bets, yelling like it was a game show._

Ben tried to smother his bitter laugh.

Bad Ben brought his Omnitrix up and spoke into it, "Albedo, we still clear?"

Albedo's voice answered, "Yeah, for now. Hurry up though, this human tech is so bad I'm worried it'll break if I keep messing with it."

"Alright, we're almost there anyway." Bad Ben let his arm drop back by his side. "This way."

He moved quickly but never ran, ducking and looking around corners before motioning for Ben to follow. Bad Ben never slowed, barely letting Ben look around the desolate hallways that looked distinctly different from the hospital. The overhead lights flickered frequently, casting chilling shadows every few seconds.

_I'd rather be in the vents…_

"Who is there?!" a voice demanded from behind a large metal vault-style door with a keypad beside it. It had blended into the shadows so well that Ben hadn't even looked in its direction. He jumped a mile and clung to his doppelganger.

"Get the hell off me." Bad Ben growled, shoving him away. "That's your surprise." He pointed at the door. "Happy early birthday."

"Hello? I heard your footsteps! Are you one of the guards?"

Ben stepped slowly closer to the door curiously, "Who are you?" Even as he asked the question, his mind had already prepared the answer. He recognized the voice. It was always audible in his best dreams. A smooth, slightly deep, and carefully contained voice that warmed Ben right down to his soul.

"Rook Blonko."

Ben's legs gave out from underneath him and he sank to the floor with a soft thud. "Rook?" he whispered.

"You… sound too young to be a guard. Who are you?"

"Ben." he answered, reaching out and pressing his hand against the cold metal door. "It's me, Rook. Ben Tennyson."

Silence.

Ben crawled closer, his eyes filling with hot tears. Rook was barely a few feet away, the only thing between them was a thick metal door.

"Is it really you?"

"I promise. I'll swear on anything you'd like. It's me. It's me, Rook." Ben could once again hear his heart, pounding too fast in his chest, which was beginning to hurt.

"I knew you would come to rescue me! I do apologize for being captured, I was ambushed and overwhelmed on my way to headquarters to meet you. I am so happy they finally sent someone!"

Ben could almost hear the sound of his reality shatter, broken pieces of trust and sanity crashing to the ground like shards of glass. The tears slid down his cheeks and his hands dangled uselessly at his side. "I… I'm not here to rescue you."

"W-what?"

"This… this is a hospital. I'm here for treatment." Ben tried to explain, his voice shaking. The words felt like a lie. How could he be in a hospital, getting treatment, when his 'delusions' were evidently very real?

"Ben, this is **not** a hospital. How did you get past the guards?"

Ben dropped his head, sniffling. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. They said it was a hospital. I didn't think you were real. They said you weren't real. They said Kevin and Gwen weren't real. They said, they said, they said I was crazy."

He sobbed as quietly as he could, every ounce of hurt he'd bottled up breaking into millions of pieces and spilling to the floor. He didn't even bother stifling or hiding his face in his sleeves from Bad Ben's view. The years of nightmares that forced him to wake up screaming, the bitter loneliness as he watched groups of friends live their happy lives, the haunting isolation that hit him whenever he looked at the stars as he missed his many alien companions, the shame of being so unhinged, the rage he felt when his parents told him he needed to face reality… everything hit him like a sack of bricks.

"Ben! P-please do not cry! Whatever is wrong, we can get through it together." Rook pleaded.

"Ben! Come in Ben!" Albedo's voice broke through. Ben lifted his head, sniffling noisily.

Bad Ben brought his Omnitrix up to his mouth, "What is it?"

"Guards are headed your way, ETA 15 minutes. Get out of there!"

Bad Ben grabbed Ben's arm and hauled him up, "We have to go."

"Go? I don't want to!" Ben protested, trying to pull away. "I can't leave him!"

"Ben? Who are you speaking to?" Rook asked.

"If they catch us out here, you'll be lucky if you're killed." Bad Ben snapped. "Say goodbye."

"Can I come back? Please!"

Bad Ben shook him roughly, "Fine, but we gotta go right now."

"Rook, I'm sorry, I have to go."

"Please do not! Please do not leave!"

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Don't let them know I was here or that I'm coming back." Ben reached out for the door, wanting desperately to pull away from Bad Ben and stay near Rook, even if it cost him everything. He wanted nothing more than to turn into an alien, bust the door down, and bury himself in Rook's furry arms. He wanted the warmth of his best friend, to absorb the feeling of safety and comfort and affection like a ghost absorbing energy from electronics.

Unfortunately, he didn't have the one thing he needed to actually do anything helpful.

"Ben, I-!" Rook started.

"NOW!" Bad Ben yanked Ben roughly, dragging him down the hall, his grip hard as iron. He shoved Ben harshly and jumped straight up into the vent. Ben cast a longing glance over his shoulder before jumping and following his dark doppelganger back to his room as quickly and quietly as he could.

When they dropped back in Ben's room, Ben wouldn't meet his multiverse self's gaze. Bad Ben leaned his head against the cool window with a moody frown. He was either lost in his own troubles or giving Ben some privacy. Taking it as a sign of permission to be weak, Ben buried his face in his hands and cried silently.

He cried until his chest hurt from gasping as silently as he could, body shaking hard from restraining every noise he couldn't make. His face felt too hot and snot dripped all over his pants.

A few minutes of silence passed and he felt a hand on his shoulder. He lifted his head and sniffled.

"Tell me what to believe, what to think, because frankly, I have no clue anymore." Ben whispered. "They said none of them were real. Am I just neck deep in psychosis? Is any of this real?"

Bad Ben's gaze was soft. There was no malevolence, no cruelty, no arrogance. He seemed to almost… pity Ben. If he was even capable of it, every ounce of pity or sympathy was in his dark green eyes. "You really want the truth?"

"Please, I need a lifeline." Ben pleaded. He tugged at Bad Ben's sleeve like a lost child. He knew he probably looked like a mess, face bright red and eyes puffy from crying.

Bad Ben sighed tiredly and pulled away, shoving his hands in his pockets. He leaned against the bedroom wall, staring out the window again. "You were supposed to get the Omnitrix. Someone prevented it, and sadly there's only so much tampering with the timeline one can do before things get royally fucked up. 

"We're not sure who or how, Professor Paradox doesn't share everything. He took all of us Bens from our dimensions and put us in his own pocket dimension... place, I guess, and we've been there for years, trying to nudge you in the direction of the Omnitrix.

"He tried a hands off approach at first. Your dreams, the lucidity and detail, he was trying to get you moving. To find it before they did. That didn't work. Your parents filled your head with lies, telling you none of it was real. Like an idiot, you bought it." Bad Ben kicked at the cold tiled floor, a very moody frown on his face.

Silence filled the room for several moments, thick as fog.

"Why would you care if I got the Omnitrix or not? Why do you care about me?" Ben asked.

The pity was immediately replaced with fury and Bad Ben marched forward, practically towering over Ben. "Never fucking **ever** say that ever again. I do not care about you. Not now, not ever." He bared his teeth. "You could die and it wouldn't mean a damn thing to me."

"So why not just let me go through life thinking I'm crazy? What's it matter?" 

Bad Ben turned away immediately. His whole body was tense, as if he was expecting a fight. He glared at the wall, his jaw set tight, fists shaking at his sides. He shook his head.

"Get some sleep. Go to group. But guard everything you say. One of the others will be with you." his tone was flat, final. 

There would be no more questions for the night and no more answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a dear friend of mine did the short video for this chapter, as like, a bonus for you guys. please support them by liking the linked video and they also take requests and commissions for art, please contact them on their tumblr: http://otterlykawaii.tumblr.com


	6. Thank God Security is so Relaxed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> while trying to wrap his head around his new reality, ben and gwen have a soft bonding moment.

Ben woke that morning, eyes practically glued shut from crying and fatigue. His body ached, his limbs felt like lead, and he yearned for the ability to blanket burrito without someone pestering him for isolating.

The previous night's adventure played in the back of his mind and the fatigue began to fade.

He sat up and blinked at the nurse who had already turned to leave. Ben stretched and looked around for a multiverse Ben.

"Over here." Nega Ben muttered. He had practically blended into the shadows, a moody frown on his face as he looked out the window with such seriousness, Ben could only assume the other boy was imagining his own edgy music video.

Ben snorted, "Oh fun. Two emo Bens."

"Two?"

"Me and you."

"I'm not emo."

"I'm gonna pretend I'm you and sit alone at the table." Ben managed a teasing smile.

"I wish I could smother you." Nega Ben shook his head, his hoodie casting a shadow that covered most of his face at the movement. A clear attempt to hide his amused smirk.

"Me too. Then I'd have a solid excuse to skip breakfast." Ben stretched and stood up, stumbling to join the others. Even Billy Billions looked like a member of the walking dead, his eyes glazed heavily from sleep, mouth slightly open with a little drool leaking out of the corner.

Ben accepted his food tray and sat away from everyone as much as possible, picking at his scrambled eggs. Paranoia lurked in the back of his mind, forcing him to question if the food was spiked somehow. Nega Ben drummed his fingers on the table, humming 'Welcome to the Black Parade' softly. 

Ben snorted, trying not to laugh. He sipped his orange juice, keeping his gaze low. He carefully scanned the room, trying to find Kevin and Gwen. When he couldn't spot them, he sighed and ate as quickly as he could before handing the tray back to the nurse and shuffling to his section.

He stopped and squinted at one of the paintings in the hallway.

"Hey." he whispered.

Nega Ben walked over, "What?"

"Why does this look familiar?"

"You're serious? You don't recognize it?"

"Should I?"

"That's Galvan Prime."

Ben's eyes widened, "What?"

"Azmuth's species' home planet. The original one, anyway. See?" Nega Ben pointed. "That's the moon, where the Galvanic Mechamorphs formed."

"Oh my God." Ben looked around the hallway. He rushed toward anyone one. "This is Anodyne, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

Ben stepped back, trembling hard. If all his knowledge of aliens wasn't real, why were these paintings hanging in the hallway like they belonged there? The world spun violently and he forced himself to turn away and head back to his room. He leaned against the couch, trying to catch his breath.

_Oh God. I'm really not crazy, huh? Albedo was right all along. My brain isn't broken._

He lifted his head, meeting Nega Ben's grayish green eyes. There was a hint of amusement, but also something else that Ben couldn't identify. Nega Ben nodded slowly and Ben resisted the urge to start screaming.

_I'm not supposed to be here. I shouldn't be here. I'm not crazy._

"Morning, Tennyson." Billy greeted, yawning as he walked by.

Ben jumped and fell on his butt, "Jesus fucking Christ on a firecracker! What the fucking fuck! Don't sneak up on me!"

Nega Ben cracked a smile, immediately trying to hide it in his dark gray sleeves.

"Not my fault you're dissociated as fuck." Billy muttered, shrugging tiredly.

Ben squinted suspiciously and got to his feet slowly, "What's wrong with you?"

"Sleep meds." Billy answered, his eyes starting to close. He leaned slowly, breathing slowing. Ben yelped and grabbed Billy's arm, catching him before he fell. Billy snorted and woke, looking around. "No, sir, I didn't." he spoke.

"Why don't we get you back to bed?" Ben suggested, already ushering him into the hallway where their bedrooms were located. Billy yawned widely and rubbed an eye with the back of his hand.

"Man, just let him fall. He could use a good bump on the head." Nega Ben sighed dramatically. "That might cure him of his superiority complex."

Ben ignored him until Billy was safely back in bed. He even made sure the boy was under the covers before returning to his room. He dug through his backpack and paled.

"My notebook." he managed.

"What about it?"

"It was in here yesterday. Now it's not here." Ben dumped the contents of his backpack on his bed, pushing and dragging items around in a now frenzied attempt to find the missing object. "Ben. Ben, my notebook's gone."

"So?"

"It had all my dreams and nightmares in there! Everything about you guys!"

"Dude, if anyone took it, I can promise you the info in it is not new to them." Nega Ben shrugged.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't slam your face into the window right fucking now." Ben snarled, still scrambling to find his notebook.

"Don't take your misplaced frustration out on me. I didn't take it." Nega Ben held his hands up in a show of innocence.

"Did one of the others take it?" Ben demanded.

"Why would we? We already know what's in it."

"Yes or no!"

"Shout a little louder, I don't think the nurses heard you."

"Answer me!" Ben howled in rage, throwing the empty backpack at his alternate self. It smacked him harmlessly and flopped uselessly to the floor. Ben grabbed a nearby pencil and snapped it, wood and lead splintering and falling to the floor. "Where is it! Where! Tell me! Tell me right now!" He threw one of the broken halves at the other boy.

"Dude, stop, they'll get security and dose you. Calm down!" Nega Ben looked over his shoulder worriedly.

A nurse ran and stared, "What's going on here?"

"I fucking told you." Nega Ben facepalmed. "Lie. Tell her anything but the truth."

"Where’s my notebook?!" Ben screamed. "Someone stole my notebook! Give it back!"

"Dude, what part of 'lie your ass off' did you miss?" Nega Ben groaned.

The nurse was pushed aside by Gwen, who rushed forward and grabbed Ben's wrists.

"Ben, you need to breathe." Gwen spoke gently.

"It's GONE!" he wailed.

"It's ok! Ben, it's gonna be ok. Calm down before they get security."

Ben looked up, meeting his cousin's brilliant green eyes. He huffed several times, gasping and gulping for air.

"Count with me." Gwen instructed. "One-"

"One." he managed.

"Two-"

"Two."

"Three."

"Three."

She hugged him. "Four."

Ben squeezed his eyes shut tightly, his head throbbing, "Four."

"Five."

"Five."

"Six."

"Six."

"Seven."

Ben pressed his head against her shoulder. "Seven."

"Eight."

"Eight."

"Nine."

"Nine."

She pulled back and smiled affectionately, "Ten."

Ben returned the smile, "Ten."

She gently pushed him onto the edge of the bed before turning to the nurse. "Mind if I sit with him for a few minutes?"

The nurse eyed Gwen suspiciously before sighing in defeat, "Fine." She marched back out of the room.

Gwen sat beside Ben, her gaze on the floor. Ben leaned against her, his head resting on her shoulder. He sighed, suddenly tired. Nega Ben eyed the pair, sitting on the floor with his legs crossed.

For a few moments, no one spoke. Ben tried to push the missing journal out of his mind and focus. He could hear distant conversations in other rooms, the TV playing, and the incessant ticking of a clock.

Ben squeezed his eyes shut before whispering, "Gwen?"

"Hm?"

"What are you doing here?"

Gwen took a deep breath before replying, "My parents were worried. Ever since I was a kid, I had these too clear dreams. I tried to keep a focus on reality, but when I was about eleven, I started practicing witchcraft. Through meditation, I discovered they weren't dreams at all. They were memories."

Gwen started to lean back, pausing when her hands brushed against the scattered heap of items on the bed. Ben shifted, leaning until his head was in her lap. He'd almost forgotten how nice it was to feel the warmth of someone safe nearby.

"A couple months ago, I started having… problems. Paranoia, I guess. I thought I was being watched, monitored, that someone was after me. My parents pushed for therapy. I didn't trust my therapist or psychiatrist."

Ben waited a few moments before muttering, "Then what?"

"One day in school, I was more paranoid than ever. It wouldn't leave me alone. I excused myself into the hallway and had a blackout. I woke up in the nurse's office. According to the video feed and witnesses, I had apparently thrown another student several yards and hit them repeatedly.

"They said if I agreed to hospitalization and therapy, the charges would be dropped." Gwen finished her tale with a heavy sigh.

Ben snorted, sat up and laughed a little, "Damn, your story's better than mine."

"Don't tell her about us." Nega Ben interjected.

"She's my cousin. I have to tell her." Ben frowned, looking over at the emo teen.

"Who are you talking to?" Gwen asked, trying to follow her cousin's gaze to find the invisible emo boy.

"I'm telling you, man, don't tell her."

Ben hesitated.

"Don't do it."

Ben shook his head, "It started with the dreams. I couldn't shake them. A few months ago, my parents took me to see a therapist. It didn't help, things got worse. I started hallucinating. A few days ago, I hallucinated Ghostfreak in class and fainted. My parents begged me to stay in the psych ward."

"Hallucinations?" Gwen inquired, glancing skeptically at him.

"It's not important." he mumbled.

Nega Ben stretched and stood, "Ask her if she can still do magic."

"Oh, can you, you know, still do magic?" Ben asked.

"I have to say no because of the nearby nurses." Gwen answered quietly. "Mana manipulation isn't a real thing that real people do in the real world."

Ben smiled, "Just like real people don't become aliens or time travel or breathe in outer space without any support or have blue moth babies?"

"Of course."

Both Tennysons were now grinning wildly. Ben hugged Gwen.

"I missed you, dweeb."

"I missed you too, doofus." Gwen returned the hug, rubbing his back gently.

"They told me none of you existed."

"They told me the same."

"I thought my brain was broken." Ben tried to swallow the hurt, keep it from breaking through as he spoke.

"I'm sorry."

Ben pulled away and rubbed an eye tiredly, "I'm just glad I'm not crazy."

Gwen smiled, "Me too." She reached out and ruffled his hair. "You think you're good enough to come play Uno?"

"Only if we can team up and annoy Kevin a little." Ben laughed.

Gwen laughed and stood, walking out of the bedroom with Ben following. Nega Ben stayed put, watching them from the shadows.

Hours passed. Ben alternated between playing games with Gwen and Kevin and attending various groups. He remained fairly quiet, just watching and listening to the others during group. Everyone was so different than he expected.

Ben had always figured the psych ward was awful, bleak and depressing, the patients bouncing off the walls with mental instability. He'd heard stories about hospital food, bland at best and downright disgusting at worse.

The people around him had suffered losses and trauma. Life had been unkind to them, dragging the things they cared about away from them. Stresses from family, friends, lovers, children, work, and the state of the world had brought them here. There was solace to be found among these people, adults who genuinely were trying to get themselves together.

Ben crawled under his thin sheet, staring up at the ceiling as he processed the events of the day. He sat up after a few minutes and mouthed a question to the emo Ben brooding in the shadows. Nega Ben looked over and nodded.

Ben tossed the covers and stood quietly, jumping and moving the vent cover as Bad Ben had done the previous night. Once it was moved aside enough, Nega Ben launched himself into the vent first and Ben followed suit.

Ben found his chest was full of static, heart pounding. He was eager to speak with Rook again. The thought of talking to him again had carried him through the day, motivating him enough.

A pause before Nega Ben moved the vent aside and jumped down.

"It's safe, drop down."

Ben shifted, letting his legs dangle before dropping to his feet. The cold floor made his teeth chatter.

Nega Ben stopped and looked around, "This place gives even **me** the creeps."

"Tell me about it." Ben muttered, noting the layers of dust and the flickering fluorescent overhead lights. A stale scent lingered, vaguely metallic.

Nega Ben continued forward, stopping after a few minutes. He gestured to the door. "Your friend awaits."

Ben pressed a hand against the door, "Rook?" he whispered.

"Ben? Is that you?"

"Yes, it's me." Ben smiled, trying not to choke on his emotions so soon.

"Why did you run off last night?"

"I got a tip that the guards were coming. I couldn't risk being here when they arrived. I'm sorry."

"Who told you?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." Ben replied bitterly.

"How do you know?"

"Trust me. I go through it all the time and I don't believe it." Ben sighed and pressed his forehead to the door. "I missed you."

"I missed you as well, Ben. I have thought of you at every waking moment. I-if that is not too forward or upsetting to say."

Ben laughed a little, "It's fine. What are you doing here? What even is this place?"

"I am a prisoner."

"I'm sorry. I wish I could free you."

"You can not?"

"I don't have the Omnitrix." Ben answered flatly, somehow ashamed. His face burned and his throat felt tight.

"But… how can that be?"

"I don't know. I never got it. Everyone said it didn't exist, that there was no such thing as aliens or ghosts and my grandpa was dead and I didn't have a cousin named Gwen." Ben sighed. "I've spent the past six years thinking the worst of myself. Hating myself, blaming myself. How could I be so dumb to think aliens were real? I thought my brain was broken, or worse, that there was just something inherently wrong with me. I thought… maybe I was a bad person, being punished years in advance for something I had yet to do."

"That is awful."

"The thoughts weren't the worst part. I couldn't get them to shut up. The nightmares, they never stopped. I'd wake up screaming. I thought I was weak." Ben's face burned hotter and tears welled up. "I didn't act very heroic. I took it out on myself. I don't know if the scars will ever heal." The last sentence was barely above a whisper.

"And you call _me_ emo." Nega Ben snorted.

Ben ignored him. "You're closer now than you've ever been, and I'd give anything to break this door down."

"I have tried." a soft sigh was heard before Rook added, "I have not succeeded."

"Kevin and Gwen are here. We'll figure something out. I won't leave you here forever." Ben vowed.

They lapsed into silence, Ben huddled against the door like it was Rook. Even the vault handles didn't bother him. He could barely hear Rook on the other side, his breathing steady. Too tired to stay awake, Ben allowed his eyes to close.

Immediately woken by Nega Ben shaking him frantically, Ben blinked up at him. "Wha?"

"We've been here too long. We have to go, right now."

Ben curled back up against the wall, sulking. "I don't care. I don't want to go."

"We don't have time for teen angst, get up." Nega Ben grabbed Ben's hood and tugged.

Ben smacked his hand away, "Leave me alone."

Bad Ben came running out of nowhere, sliding and landing a foot away from Ben, "Get up, get up! You idiot!"

"No." Ben shook his head. "Please, I don't want to. I want to stay with Rook."

"We've all worked our asses off to get you here TWICE now. Do you know how much danger we've put ourselves in for you?" Bad Ben growled, grabbing Ben by his hoodie and lifting him. "You owe us. Now get your sorry ass up, you wimp, before I beat your ass and drag you back to your room like a dead seal."

"I don't care!" Ben tried to push him off. "Let go of me!"

"I didn't stick my neck out for you to throw away everything we've worked for!" Bad Ben snarled.

"Ben? What is going on?" Rook asked, sounding distant.

"I don't care about you or anything you've done! It's your fault I'm here in the first place!" Ben snapped.

"You wouldn't be here at all if you'd listened to us in the first place! But no! You had to be a little bitch baby and believe everyone else!" Bad Ben slammed Ben against the door.

"I'm not important and I don't matter! You said so yourself! I could die and you wouldn't care!"

"That doesn't mean I'll let it happen, you dumbass!" Bad Ben shouted.

"Stop fighting!" Ben 23 ran forward, stepping between the pair and shoving as hard as he could. "Ben, please, get moving! You can see Rook later! But if you get caught now, you won't see him before they send you to the next life!"

Ben was breathing hard, the hurt screaming behind his green eyes. He fought the urge to start sobbing again, allowing Ben 23 and Nega Ben to lead him away. He could hear Rook, but refused to answer. Bad Ben glared, fists shaking.

Crawling through the vents and trying not to give away their location was hard as Ben wouldn't stop crying. Finally, back in his room, Ben crawled under the covers and sniffled.

He'd never hated himself more.


	7. Are We There Yet?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ben has spent years being lied to and manipulated. he puts a plan into motion to put a stop to that.

Ben stayed in his room most of the next day, following his depressing encounter with Rook Blonko. He barely ate and stayed cocooned in his scratchy thin hospital bedsheet.

The day after, he continued as if nothing had happened. Drowning in his own misery, he started the best masquerade of his life. He faked taking the medications the nurses gave him, shared nightmares that were meaningless, played board games, and plotted his escape with the emptiest smile on his face.

Finally, after almost a week, Ben's therapist, William Gax, pulled him out of group for a private meeting.

Bad Ben stood off to the side, completely unseen by the doctor. Bad Ben's arms were folded across his chest and he was glaring at the wall, contemplatively, as if he was wondering how hard he needed to throw someone against the wall before they died on impact.

"You seem to be doing better." Dr. Gax noted. "The nurses say you haven't spoken to any hallucinations in a few days."

Ben shrugged, "What's the point? Nothing they say would help me. On top of which, they're not real."

Bad Ben glanced down, mouth twitching into an amused smirk. His green eyes glittered.

"Oh?"

"Even if the multiverse is real, I'm not important. Why would I have a bunch of me's be running around, talking to me, like they're doing a YouTube video and counting my sins? 'Loser can't hold a conversation, ding!' 'Another breakdown? Skip!' I'm in the real world." Ben kept his gaze locked firmly onto the doctor. 

It had taken a lot of practice to acknowledge the other Bens without giving away that they were near. They had come up with a silent form of communication, allowing Ben to gain some sense of sanity, no longer forced to hold seemingly one-sided conversations with someone only he could see.

Becoming fluent in deception had been difficult, especially because of Ben's morality and belief that lying was bad under most circumstances. (At that point, Bad Ben had reminded him he was basically a prisoner and his life depended on his ability to lie and deceive anyone in charge.) Ben's left eye no longer twitched when he lied and he could keep his gaze steady.

"So, do you still see them, those other you's?"

Ben allowed himself a moment of contemplation, completely for show, before replying, "I don't think so. I mean, that's what the medication is for, right? Preventing hallucinations."

"You only think so?"

"It's weird. I've spent months screaming at people who weren't really there, and now they're not. It's a bit like waking up from a bad dream, isn't it? I never really knew how bad it was until it was over."

Bad Ben was grinning now, looking quite proud.

"Speaking of, how are your dreams?" the man asked casually.

"Not as bad. I don't wake up screaming. I don't think the shadows are hiding ghosts at 3 in the morning. Sure, they're scary, but in the end, they're over once my eyes open." Ben shrugged again.

Bad Ben leaned slightly, his mouth centimeters from Ben's ear, "And now ask how much longer he wants you to stay."

Ben didn't even twitch at the order.

After a pause as Dr. Gax scribbled notes, Ben blinked innocently, "Doctor?"

"Hm?"

"How much longer do you think I'll be here?"

The doctor smiled, "Well, we don't want to send you home too soon and you lose your progress. We can meet again in a few days to discuss your progress, and we'll decide what to do then."

Ben tried to erase any expression of anxiety or disappointment as he replied, "I guess that's a good point. Sounds like a plan." He managed a small smile.

Dr. Gax opened the door and ushered Ben back to his room, where Ben smiled and waved goodbye to the doctor.

Once he was alone, Ben muttered, "Now?"

Bad Ben gave a sly smile, "Now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is late and short. the last three chapters are all finished, i'll probably post chapter 8 over the weekend. hope you guys like this!


	8. Careful Coordination and Consideration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ben, kevin, and gwen begin planning their escape.

Sitting in a corner playing Uno, Ben, his long-lost cousin Gwen, and her boyfriend Kevin Levin were doing their best to look as normal as possible in a mental hospital.

They sat away from everyone else, the nearby window casting a warm spot of light on the trio. Bees occasionally bumped into the wall before flying off towards the flowers outside. Most patients were wrapped up in their bedsheets, playing games or talking or coloring while the TV played nature documentaries.

"We can't wait forever." Ben muttered. "We have to get out of here soon."

"I don't think they'll ever let us go." Kevin spoke, frowning.

"But how do we get out?" Gwen asked.

Ben smiled slyly, "The vents."

"What? We're not in a Mission: Impossible movie!" Gwen hissed.

"Shhh! Keep your voice down." Ben scolded. "Trust me. I know how to get around through the vents."

"How?"

"Just trust me." Ben insisted.

Kevin and Gwen exchanged a look.

"Only thing is, we have a few things we need to pick up before we leave."

Kevin raised a dark eyebrow, "Such as?"

"For starters, the Omnitrix."

Gwen dropped her cards, "What?"

"It's here. Don't ask how I know, I just do." Ben raised a hand to cut off questions. "We have to get it, we can't leave without it. If it comes down to it, you two leave without me." Ben looked down at the cards in his hand.

"But we don't know our way through the vents." Gwen pointed out.

"You'll be fine." Ben placed a yellow 4 card on the stack.

"What's the other thing we need before we leave?" Kevin inquired.

"Rook. You remember him?"

"Of course. Your furry feline partner. He used me as a human shield once." Kevin snorted, trying not to smirk.

"Good. He's here, and he's a prisoner. He's in another building, I've spoken to him a couple times. I'm not leaving without him either." Ben tried to picture the reunion. 

Was it a reunion if they'd never spoken face to face? Was Rook human or not? Would he be disappointed in Ben by his very unkempt appearance?

Ben made a mental note to shower before the jailbreak.

"Stahp daydreamin." Mad Ben hissed nearby.

Ben shook his head, "Anyway, which unit are you guys in again? And what are your room numbers?"

"Unit B, room 6." Kevin answered.

"Unit B, room 2." Gwen replied, picking her cards back up.

"I'll figure out how to get to you." Ben promised.

"What about Billy?" Gwen asked.

Ben looked over his shoulder at the mention of the shorty. "What about him?"

Billy Billions was scowling as he colored something, muttering to himself.

"You're not gonna help him?"

"Sneaking four people out is gonna be hard enough. He'd just get in the way. We can always come back for him, I guess, but he honestly needs the help. They're treating us for the wrong thing. They think we're delusional. We're not." Ben answered, frowning. "Meanwhile he's an egocentric asshole with a superiority complex and anger issues to boot."

"So you're just gonna leave him." Gwen spoke flatly.

"Of course." Ben snorted. "Right now, we need to focus on us. We don't have the luxury of saving everyone here, especially because we're the exceptions. We're really **not** supposed to be here."

"That's cold." Gwen shook her head.

"He has a point." Kevin interjected.

"Kevin!"

"Two against one." Ben nodded.

"Doesn't Rook get a vote?" Gwen scowled.

"I can't even tell him when we're escaping. They might try to torture him or something, and the less he knows, the less he can give away." Ben shrugged. "It's better that way."

"That's awful!"

"It's realistic." Ben correctly.

"When did you get 'realistic'?" Gwen demanded.

Ben lowered his gaze, "Am I wrong?"

"Gwen, he has a point. We can't take chances." Kevin reached out and gently squeezed her hand. "He's probably risking a lot just to let us in on this plan."

Mad Ben looked over his shoulder, "Ah, fuck, nurse incomin. Act normal."

Ben placed a skip card on the pile, smiling at Gwen, "Sorry, Gwen."

Kevin laughed and placed a draw 4 on the pile, "I got your back, babe."

"You suck!" Ben howled in rage, drawing 4 more cards. "What happened to bros before hoes?"

"Gwen's not a hoe, and you can suck it." Kevin retorted.

"Fuck you you fucking fuck!" Ben glared. "Betrayal! Oh, the wound cuts deep!"

"You planning on kissing someone with that mouth?" Kevin snickered. "Also, red is the new color."

Gwen placed a red 2 on the pile with a bright smile.

"You three having fun?" the nurse asked.

"I **was** having fun...before I was stabbed in the back." Ben grumbled.

"Oh, it gets better." Kevin snickered, placing another draw 4 on the pile.

"See, this is why no one fucking loves you." Ben grumbled, drawing another 4 cards.

"Gwen loves me." Kevin snorted.

"Only on days that end in '-y'." Gwen giggled.

"You both suck." Ben stuck his tongue out. "Dweeb!"

"Doofus!"

"Dweeb!"

"Doofus!"

"Fight me!" Ben demanded. "Bring it on!"

"Ya really shouldn't challenge people to a fight when a bag of grapes outweighs ya." Mad Ben snickered into his hand.

Ben bit back his reply, mouth twitching. The nurse smiled, scribbled a note, then turned and walked towards another group. Ben leaned forward and whispered, "We leave either tonight or tomorrow night. During shift change. That'll give us a couple hours before they check on us."

"What about the cameras?" Gwen asked.

"Leave it to me. I'll get everything sorted." Ben nodded, sitting back up. "Just leave everything to me."

The rest of the day was uneventful. Ben attended group, ate his meals, and kept himself busy during free time. He was followed by one of the multiverse Bens, holding silent conversations with them. They spent the whole day alternating like they were tagging in and out in order to keep an eye on him.

Ben spent a few minutes before bedtime in his room, trying to wrap his head around everything. His roommate stayed outside, watching a sports game with the other adults. He could hear them shouting encouragements and insults at the TV.

"So, how the hell are we getting out?" Ben asked the warped Galvan quietly, sitting on the edge of his bed.

Albedo was sitting with his back to the wall, "I'll handle the electronics, the cameras and computers."

"Right. Galvans are very good with technology." Ben nodded.

Albedo looked up at the ceiling, frowning, "One of the other Bens will lead you through the vents. Remember, don't tell Kevin or Gwen we're here until we say so."

"Why can't they know? I don't get this."

Albedo snorted, "We're the 'bad guys', remember? If you say you got your info from us, do you think they'll do what you say?"

Ben thought about it, "I… guess not."

"They won't. Trust me."

"Ok but, this has been bothering me awhile."

"What has?"

Ben waited a moment before replying, "Why am I the only one who sees you? You guys can interact with the environment but no one sees you."

Albedo's lip twitched, "Call it a psychic connection. That's the closest explanation, anyway. We're basically ghosts in your world, not really here enough for others to notice us, especially now that-" Albedo froze then lowered his gaze, "A-anyway, we can move stuff, break stuff, build stuff, but we're not able to interact or be seen by anyone who isn't Ben. Otherwise there could be problems."

 _'Especially now that'… what?_ Ben wondered silently. He eyed Albedo suspiciously, who wouldn't meet his gaze.

"You guys never did say why it's so important I get the Omnitrix." Ben added.

Albedo looked up, "Oh, it's not."

 _His left eye twitched._ Ben noted. _He's lying._

Ben shrugged, "Fine, keep your secrets."

Albedo glared, "We will."

"Why does it have to be a secret?" Ben inquired.

"Because fuck you is why."

Ben rolled his eyes, pulling a book off his nightstand and opened it, "You're annoying, you know that?"

"Not nearly as annoying as you." Albedo retorted.

Ben snorted and proceeded to pointedly ignore the albino doppelganger. He reflected on the bad Bens behavior as he buried under the thin bedsheet, wondering why they were trying to help him. They were all selfish, three out of five of them were just plain power hungry sociopaths, with Benzarro being a literal zombie with little to no brain function. All they cared about was power, chaos, and destruction.

As he slipped into a dreamless sleep, he wondered when his questions would be answered.


	9. Still the Hero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's jailbreak time for ben and his friends.

Chapter Nine: Still the Hero

Sneaking through the absurdly wide air vents no longer bothered Ben. The dust and chill of the metal against his warm hands didn't alarm him anymore. His backpack didn't add much extra weight and it didn't brush against either the sides or the top of the vents.

"Remember, breathe slowly." Bad Ben instructed, leading the way to Gwen and Kevin's rooms. Ben still couldn't fight the smile at Bad Ben's glow in the dark laces. He did manage not to laugh but made a mental note to tease him at his next opportunity.

Bad Ben stopped and moved a vent, pointing down. "Get her attention."

Ben poked his head down a little, "Psssst! Gwen!"

Gwen Tennyson looked up, green eyes wide.

"Grab your backpack and get up here, we're blowing this train wreck of a hospital." Ben flashed her a smile.

"Ok, but-"

"No time for questions. We're on a tight schedule." Ben interrupted.

Gwen hesitated before scooping up her backpack and standing under the vent, "You gotta move so I can jump."

"Ok." Ben nodded and waited for Bad Ben to crawl forward a few feet before doing the same. Gwen jumped and hauled herself up into the vent, placing the cover back in place. "Stay very quiet, breathe slowly." Ben whispered. He continued crawling, letting his evil multiverse self lead the way to Kevin's room.

Kevin was waiting, looking bored, frowning up at the vent. Gwen motioned for him to come up after moving the cover. Kevin jumped and climbed in the vent, placing the cover back before nodding to the Tennyson pair.

"Where’s Rook?" Gwen whispered.

"We're going to get him now. After that, the Omnitrix." Ben answered just as quietly. He gave a barely noticeable nod to Bad Ben, who muttered something vaguely unflattering before leading the train wreck of teens through the vents.

Ben replayed the week in his head, struggling to connect all the dots. He still had too many questions that hadn't been answered. Why were all his alternate selves pushing so hard to help him, even the bad ones? Who was the time altering asshole who prevented him from getting the Omnitrix? And the most important question: was any of this real?

Years of being told aliens weren't real, he didn't have a cousin named Gwen, his grandpa was dead had latched into his brain until Ben couldn't shake the fear he really was crazy. Static filled his chest and he realized he wasn't breathing right. The cool metal under him left his hands feeling like they weren't holding him up and he tried not to gasp out loud.

Bad Ben glanced over his shoulder, frowning.

"Ben?" Gwen whispered. "Are you ok?"

Ben shook his head, "Fine. Quiet."

"Slow breath in, hold it for a count of three, longer breath out, Ben. Try to breathe." Bad Ben muttered.

_He's oddly comforting._ Ben thought, snorting to cut off a giggle. _Just focus on him. Questions will be answered._

Bad Ben slowed, turned around and whispered, "This is Rook's room."

Ben gulped and whispered, "Rook!"

He heard something fall, "Ben?"

"I'm gonna jump down from this vent. Don't shout."

"A-alright?"

Ben chewed his lip nervously, pushed the cover off to the side, and jumped down from the vent. He stood up slowly and blinked, mouth falling open as he openly gawked at Rook.

Rook looked exactly the same as he did in the dreams. Taller than Ben, broad shouldered, a slim waist, and blue fur everywhere. He was in just a plain short sleeved shirt and boxers, showing off his excellently long and lean legs along with his lean arms. Ben stopped breathing, eyes wide. Ben's legs threatened to give out from under him and his brain promptly set itself on fire, all his brain cells dying in the chaos.

Rook rushed forward, wrapping his arms around Ben and holding him close. "You are here."

Ben choked on relief, his arms wrapping around Rook as well, "I'm here. I'm right here, buddy. I'm not leaving without you."

Rook leaned, pressed his forehead against Ben's, gaze soft as they just stood there, staring into each other's eyes. Ben tried to think of something to say, something to express the relief and affection that had built up over the week. Rook kissed Ben's forehead and Ben sighed happily.

For a moment, Ben forgot about the hospital, the escape plan, his fears and bitterness melting away as he swayed gently in Rook's embrace. Nothing existed beyond that moment. The only thing in the entire universe and time and space was Rook Blonko holding him and nuzzling his hair.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm so happy you're not human." Ben managed, smiling weakly.

Rook's hands moved from Ben's waist to his cheeks, "Why would I be human?"

"You spend six years being told 'there's no such thing as aliens' and you question your reality to pieces." Ben answered softly. "But you're real, you're… you… and even if I am delusional, I think I don't mind anymore. This is better than 'reality'."

Rook leaned in, gently kissing Ben. It was a barely there kiss, over almost as soon as it started. Ben blinked up at Rook, trying to get his mouth to work well enough to ask for another kiss.

"You two can make out as much as you want on your own time." Bad Ben hissed. "Pull it together, man!"

"Ben, do we really have time for this?" Gwen whispered.

Ben withdrew, turning away, sure he was grinning like an idiot, "They have a point."

Rook reached out, furry fingers brushing against Ben's, "What is your plan?"

"Sneak through the vents, grab the Omnitrix-"

"And the Proto-Tool and my armor." Rook interjected.

"Yes, and those. Then we make a break for it. Take down anyone who tries to stop us." Ben finished.

"What about the cameras?" Kevin asked, leaning close to Gwen to peer down at the pair curiously.

"I've got it handled. Trust me."

Gwen's eyes narrowed suspiciously, "Ok but do we ever get an explanation?"

"Yeah. For now, we gotta go. I'll lead, Kevin's after me, followed by Gwen, then Rook. Stay quiet." Ben looked up at Rook, "You ready?"

Rook nodded, "Of course."

"Follow me." Ben jumped and scrambled into the vent, crawling after Bad Ben.

"I would follow you anywhere…" Rook whispered.

"Dude, I feel that." Kevin muttered. "Head over heels for the Tennyson cousins squad?"

Ben tried to ignore them, casting an apologetic look to Bad Ben, who just glared and shook his head. He led the group silently, with Ben trying so hard not to giggle at the glow in the dark shoelaces. He heard Rook climb into the vent and place the cover back where it belonged.

Ben swallowed his nervousness and tried to project the confidence a real leader and hero would radiate. He prayed that Bad Ben didn't realize how desperately he was looking to him for directions and support. Offhandedly, he wondered if Bad Ben had anyone genuinely thought of him as a positive and strong leader, someone who could definitely be relied upon in tense situations.

Bad Ben kicked a vent cover down and dropped down to the floor below. He looked around cautiously before speaking into the Omnitrix, "We clear?"

"Crystal clear." Albedo answered.

"Come on down." Bad Ben called.

Ben dropped and landed safely, "Where to now?"

Bad Ben dug through his pocket and held out a bluetooth communicator, "I can't stay any longer."

Ben frowned, "Before you go…"

"What? What **else** do you want?"

"I'm him… aren't I?"

"Who?"

"THE Ben… the first one, or whatever you call him."

Bad Ben pinched the bridge of his nose, "What makes you think you're Ben Prime?"

Ben was distantly aware of his friends joining him outside the vents. "Albedo said you guys are like ghosts, and you spent all of today switching rapidly between who babysat me. On top of which, you guys are power hungry sociopathic cowards, yet time after time you helped me. It doesn't add up… unless you have a selfish motive."

"You're clever." Bad Ben reached out, placing the device in Ben's ear gently, almost affectionately. "And correct. If you don't have the Omnitrix, none of us do. And we **love** our abilities. When time was altered, we lost our stability and Professor Paradox withdrew us, taking us out of time and space, where we'd be safe until you fixed everything." His gaze was soft, toying with a lock of Ben's hair absent-mindedly.

Ben realized he was shaking, "So what happens when I get the Omnitrix?"

Bad Ben smiled slyly, "You'll know what to do by then. After all, you **are** Ben Tennyson. You're capable of more than you think." Bad Ben hummed for a moment, thinking. "Speaking of, take the elevator to the lowest floor. There'll be a long corridor with a room all the way at the end. It's the lab. Rook's stuff is there too. Don't take too long, though, we're almost out of time. Soon, we won't be stable enough to help."

"Can I tell them?" Ben asked, trying not to look over at his friends who were probably very bewildered watching him talk to someone they couldn't see and seemingly get answers.

"Sure, if you want. They have no choice now but to follow you if they want out of here." Bad Ben's fingers were still messing with a strand of Ben's hair. He let his hand drop to his side, "I expect you to thank us afterwards."

"Of course."

"See ya on the flipside."

Like a ghost, Bad Ben faded out of the universe before Ben's eyes. Ben pressed the DOWN button, looking over his shoulder.

Gwen's arms were folded across her chest, "I think you have something to say to us."

"That… was Bad Ben." Ben started. "I've been seeing the multiverse Bens for months now. I thought they were hallucinations, but it turned out they weren't. Apparently Professor Paradox employed them to help guide me to the Omnitrix."

"Ben, you can not trust them." Rook spoke.

"They got me this far. They helped me visit you, lead us through the vents, and told me where we need to go. They're evil, yes, but incredibly selfish. If I don't have the Omnitrix, neither do they." Ben shrugged.

There was a soft DING and the elevator doors opened. Ben stepped inside, gaze steady. Kevin sighed and joined him in the elevator, followed by Gwen and finally Rook. The elevator doors closed and Ben frowned at the inside buttons.

"Sub level six? That looks like the lowest floor." Kevin shoved his hands in his pockets.

Ben pressed it, continuing the previous conversation, "I wanted to tell you guys, but they said you wouldn't trust me or listen to me if you knew where I got my information."

"They were almost right." Gwen sighed. "But I guess we can trust their self interest."

The elevator rumbled faintly, the sound of gears and wires and other devices working to lower the elevator. A scent similar to 'new car smell' lingered.

"Well, after we fix this timeline, they'll probably go back to hating me for being a hero." Ben shrugged, glancing up and trying to assess Rook's emotions.

Rook kept his gaze locked on the elevator door, "I follow you, not them."

Ben held his hand out to Rook. Rook accepted the extended hand, holding it gently.

DING!

The elevator doors opened. The group stepped out, all of them looking around at the new setting. Immediately in front of them was a ridiculously long hallway, the kind Ben thought only existed in horror movies. There was only one visible room and Ben tensed when he realized it had an electronic lock.

"Albedo, can you unlock the door?" Ben whispered.

"Yeah, it should be unlocked in three… two… go."

Ben hurried down the hall as quietly as he could, shoes squeaking occasionally against the smooth tile floors but not loud enough to draw unwanted attention. Rook darted after him, catching up quickly. Gwen and Kevin ran after them.

Ben tugged at the door handles, surprised when the door flew open easily. He stumbled, feeling an arm wrap around his waist to steady him. He looked up and smiled affectionately at Rook.

Ben pulled away, stepping inside cautiously. The room was dimly lit with numerous clear tanks holding various items inside. Ben felt his heart quicken and his vision began to blur as he searched for his Omnitrix.

_Where is it? Where is it? It's mine! I deserve it! It has to be here!_

He walked around several metal tables, trying to regulate his breathing. He was vaguely aware of his friends searching other tables.

"My armor! The Proto-Tool!" Rook whispered happily. He rushed towards a display case on a wall, pressing against it and sighing happily. "How I missed you two!"

Gwen and Kevin snickered.

Ben's fingers brushed against a glass case and a jolt of static ran up to his heart. He gasped out loud, reaching out with his other hand. His fingers trembled as he lifted the case to eye level. 

Inside sat the device he'd been missing for years.

"The Omnitrix." he whispered.

Gwen looked over at him, "You found it?"

He nodded, unable to speak. Relief and rage washed over him in equal amounts. He blinked back tears.

"Go ahead and put it on, we need to-"

Rage took over and he hurled the case across the room with a defiant cry. The shattered glass scattered across the floor, the crash echoing in his ears. His vision blurred and he surged forward, left hand outstretched.

The Galvanic device latched onto his wrist, the face popping up, offering an alien for Ben to transform into immediately.

"What was that for?!" Kevin demanded. "They could've heard that!"

"I don't fucking care if they heard. Let them come!" Ben's gaze was dark and wild, glaring expectantly at the doors. "I've been through hell because of some douche, now it's time for me to give that asshole a long overdue ass kicking."

Gwen took a step back, "Ben…?"

Heavy footsteps came from the hall, thunderous marching drawing closer. Ben felt overheated somehow, already starting to sweat through his shirt. A long dark shadow was cast on the floor, lab doors flying open.

Dr. William Gax froze, "What are you three doing here?"

"There's four of us." Ben growled. "I'm sure you can see Rook."

"You mean the tall cat-like alien you love?"

"Yes." Ben's glare grew from a few daggers to almost lasers.

"Ben, aliens aren't real. You haven't been taking your medication, have you? You lied to me."

"You lied to me too, so we're almost even." Ben gave his best impression of a slasher smile.

"You three need to get back to your rooms." Dr. Gax insisted.

Ben paused, "I never mentioned Rook to you in our sessions. So how do you know what he looks like if you can't see him?"

"It was in your journal-"

The doctor froze.

Too late.

"So, **Vilgax,** care to explain why you impersonated a therapist and stole my journal and ruined my life?" Ben asked, his tone very casual, as if he was speaking to a friend at McDonald's rather than a mass murdering sworn enemy. He was still smiling, an unrecognizable emotion bubbling in his chest. He heard himself giggle.

"Vilgax?" Kevin, Gwen, and Rook echoed.

The 'doctor' smiled and the hologram glitched and vanished, revealing the enormous cyborg killer underneath. "How long have you known?"

"Oh, not long really, figured it out just now. But you practically spelled it out for me." Ben's smile grew.

"You never learned how to use that. It's just as useless as you are."

"And yet I know I'm gonna beat your worthless ass from here to Pluto. Everyone on your home planet's gonna feel it." Ben's smile was so wide that his face was starting to hurt.

"KILL HIM!" Bad Ben shouted in the ear piece.

Ben's vision began to blur.

"Kill him!" Albedo echoed.

Ben's fingers twitched.

"Make 'im wish he'd never been born!" Mad Ben declared.

Ben's heart pounded harshly under his ribs.

"Beat him within an inch of his life!" Nega Ben added.

Ben blindly twisted the face of the Omnitrix and slapped it, not caring who he turned into.

"Ben!" Gwen shouted. She sounded so far away.

Ben looked down at himself, mildly surprised to find he'd turned into Ghostfreak. Even though he'd transformed, he could still hear the bad Bens calling for Vilgax's blood. It felt like it was inside his mind.

_Kill him! Take his head! Drag his organs out inch by inch! Make him beg for mercy!_

Ben lunged for his nemesis, claws raking against Vilgax's exposed flesh. Vilgax howled in pain and fired his gun. Ben became intangible, snickering. He swiped at the nearest table, glass objects flying and shattering immediately.

_Kill him!_

Ben floated, dodging Vilgax's blows and shots easily. He grabbed a scalpel off the table and stabbed his enemy in the shoulder, laughing as blood began running down Vilgax's armor. Ben alternated between stabbing and clawing, Vilgax's armor now shredded.

_KILL HIM!_

The voices screaming in his mind no longer sounded different from his own internal dialogue. If he'd been capable of it, Ben would've been drooling.

"Ben, stop!" Rook shouted.

"I don't **want** to stop." Ben hissed. "He ruined my life! He took everything from me! I'm merely going to repay the favor…"

"Ben, no."

"Shut up!" Ben snarled.

"No. Stop and look at yourself. Is this the hero you want to be? Would Azmuth let you keep the Omnitrix if you continued the battle in this manner?" Rook demanded.

_Ignore him! He's just soft and weak! Crush Vilgax so he'll never rise again! Make him regret messing with you!_

Ben flinched at the thoughts, startled immediately out of his frenzied bloodthirsty state. The Omnitrix beeped and timed out, Ben reappearing in his human form. He swayed, unsteady.

"You're the hero, he's the bad guy! Fight him and END HIM!" Bad Ben ordered.

Ben started down at the bloody scalpel in his hand. He wanted to succumb to the darkness, bow to the violent urges and embrace the sheer uncontrollable chaos. Memories of heartbreak, shame, self loathing, and hatred played like a video on the screen of a TV. It would be infinitely easier to end Vilgax where he stood than spare him.

He tried to remember his grandfather, desperate for a light in the dark. If his grandfather could see him, would he be proud of Ben?

Shame flooded him.

He looked up just in time for Vilgax to knock him off his feet and send him flying across the room. His vision swam and he slumped to the floor, barely conscious.

Gwen threw energy bolt after energy bolt, her eyes glowing magenta and hair floating. Kevin placed a hand on the table, his body becoming the same hardened metal and he flipped the table so it shielded Ben.

Rook dropped to his side, "Ben! Ben?"

Ben groaned softly, "I'm sorry."

Rook sighed in relief and he helped Ben sit up, "What happened?"

"They were… screaming… telling me to kill him. I wanted to, so badly." Ben dropped his head. "I still want to."

"You will not like winning that way. I am sure no one except the bad Bens would approve of that path." Rook's voice was soft.

"Ben, you alright? That was weird, even for you." Kevin asked.

"Sorry. I lost it there." Ben shook his head. "He wants me to fall, doesn't he? He put me through hell to crush me."

"Probably." Kevin agreed.

"Who CARES?!" Bad Ben hollered. "KILL! HIM!"

Ben reached up and removed the speaker from his ear, "I won't let him win. I won't fall."

Ben stood, blinking in surprise as the Omnitrix changed shape, becoming the version he had when he was fifteen. Gwen looked over at him and he nodded. She put a protective barrier around herself and the boys as Ben turned the face of the Omnitrix.

"I'm gonna give you one chance to surrender, Vilgax." Ben warned. "If you don't, I'll drop you into the Null Void until I fix this mess you've made."

"I will not surrender!" Vilgax howled.

"It doesn't have to be this way, but remember: you chose your fate." Ben slammed the face of the Omnitrix, turning into Big Chill. He immediately froze his enemy and the doors behind him.

Clap… clap… clap…

Ben's alien form faded and he turned in the direction of the noise.

"Professor Paradox…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're only one chapter away from the ending. i hope you guys enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it.


	10. All's Well That Ends Well, Right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> vilgax is defeat, paradox arrives, and answers are finally given.

"Professor Paradox." Ben spoke, frowning at the time traveler.

"Well done, young master Tennyson. For a moment, I was almost worried." the man smiled. Just like everyone else, he looked exactly the same as he did in the dreams. His hands were tucked behind his back, lab coat in pristine condition.

Ben turned away, face burning with shame at his actions. "Did you plan on intervening or were you hoping altruism won?"

"I was rather hoping you would remember you're supposed to be the hero."

"Professor!" Gwen let the mana shield drop, stepping forward with a smile.

"Good to see that lot did **one** thing right." Professor Paradox smiled at the other three. Kevin waved casually.

"Please tell me we can correct this disaster of a timeline." Rook sighed. "I would like to forget this ever happened."

"Of course. Benjamin, if you'd-"

"Not yet." Ben turned to face the adult, green eyes narrowed. "I still have a few questions. I want to talk to my mom and dad."

"Ben, what good are answers when you can forget everything?" Kevin inquired.

"Why did mom and dad say Gwen wasn't real? Is Grandpa Max even dead? Why did I spend six years suffering?" Ben questioned the adult, shaking as the memories surfaced. "Even if I forget, even if I can make it so none of this happened, I want to know. After everything I went through, I think I have a right to know."

The professor sighed, "Alright."

The underground laboratory faded and the group found themselves outside Ben's house. It had been weeks since he'd spoken to his parents, and felt like an eternity since he saw his house, but somehow it didn't feel the same as it did before his stay. He lifted his chin and strode towards the door, turning the knob and pushing it open. "I'm home!"

"Ben? Sweetie?"

His mom and dad walked and froze, staring in bewilderment at the group.

"Hi." Ben's voice was soft but steady. "I think it's time we talk."

"What-"

Gwen poked her head around Ben's shoulder and waved, "Hi."

"It is nice to meet you." Rook bowed slightly.

"Sup?" Kevin greeted.

Ben held up his wrist, displaying the Omnitrix, "As I said, it's time we talk."

"Oh God, our poor baby." Ben's mom whispered. She put her hand over her trembling lips.

His father glared, "Ben, take that off."

Ben shook his head, "No."

"Take it off, now."

"No."

His father stormed closer, grabbing Ben's wrist under the Omnitrix, "I know you can take it off, so take it off."

Ben jerked his wrist out of his father's grip, "No. I don't want to. So stop asking."

"I can ground you."

Ben rolled his eyes, "No, actually, you can't. I'm well beyond ground-able. So why don't we all go to the living room and have a nice lovely chat before I fix this timeline and put everything back the way it's supposed to be, hm?"

"Oh, sweetie, no, you… you have to take it off." his mother reached out with her free hand. Ben stepped back, just out of reach. Her hand dropped to her side. "That man, he said horrible things happened to you when you had it. So many people tried to kill you, some of them tortured you, and you had alien **babies** at 15!"

"First off, I love my Necrofriggian babies and I like them existing, thank you very much. Leave them out of this. Second off, I had them asexually, so it's not even a problem." Ben scowled.

"Third off, what man?" Gwen asked.

His father sighed, "Fine, come on in and we'll talk about it. You'll see we're right and you're wrong and take that stupid thing off."

"Don't hold your breath, dad, Hell hasn't even started to cool yet." Ben retorted, turning and marching to the living room. He sat on the couch, folding his arms across his chest. Rook followed, sitting beside Ben like it was the most natural and obvious place he'd sit. Gwen sat on Ben's other side and Kevin resigned himself to sitting on the couch arm beside his girlfriend.

Professor Paradox ushered Ben's parents into the living room, "Let's get this done, we have a timeline to fix."

Ben's mother sniffled, "Baby, please don't do this."

"Unless Vilgax is threatening you, you have no excuses not to tell me, especially considering the consequences to this reveal are meaningless to a Celestial Sapien."

"You claim you don't know who we were talking about, but you clearly do." Ben's father grumbled.

"Wait, **Vilgax** talked you guys into all this?" Kevin demanded.

Ben could almost hear Bad Ben in his head, chiming in with _I told you to kill him!_

Ben pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to cut off a growing headache, "Explain it. All of it."

_Before I accidentally follow my inner homicidal impulses and massacre every adult who ever lied to me._ he added silently.

"He approached us before you were old enough to remember him. He told us if you went on a roadtrip with Gwen and Dad, you'd have a device fall into your possession and bad things would happen. Bad people would try to kill you. Sometimes they'd succeed. Most times they didn't. But you'd be hunted and tortured every moment then on." his father explained with a defeated sigh.

_Aw Hell, mate, how can ya stand lookin at em?_ Mad Ben asked.

Ben's eyes narrowed.

"We thought simply severing contact with Gwen and Max would keep you safe, sweetie. We only wanted to protect you." his mom added.

_God, she's annoying. Does she even hear herself?_ Albedo's voice whispered in his mind.

_Shut up and go away._ Ben ordered silently.

"When the… dreams started up, we didn't know what to do."

_They were working with Vilgax the whole time? Wow. Talk about a twist!_ Nega Ben's commented casually.

_Does this look like the movies to you? No commentary! Go back to singing Fall Out Boy, you emo!_ Ben gritted his teeth, trying to focus.

"I had nightmares about Vilgax. I even told you about them. What then?" Ben asked.

"We figured he was simply trying to spare you." his father admitted.

Kevin snorted, "Vilgax doesn't really **do** sparing people. Especially not Ben."

"None of this makes sense!" Gwen protested. "Even if Ben got hurt, he saved people! Billions and billions of people! Not just on Earth either! Why would you throw that many people under the bus?"

_This is like, the absolute worst thing I can think of for you to hear… You shouldn't have to hear this!_ Ben 23's voice was surprisingly soft.

"Because Ben deserves better than being tortured until he tries to kill himself!" his father snapped. "Because he's our son and that's all that matters."

"What about Grandpa?" Gwen shouted. "Is he even dead?"

"Who even knows? We filed a restraining order and threatened to have him arrested if he tried to talk to Ben. We haven't heard from him since."

_You should kill them. They lied to you over and over and over and told you so many times that you were crazy, that it was all in your head, none of these things were real. Doesn't that hurt? Go on, kill them._ Bad Ben suggested.

Ben raised his hand, "Professor?"

"Yes?"

"I still have them stuck in my head."

Professor Paradox eyed Ben suspiciously, "They'll continue to stay until this is over."

"Can't you make them shut up? I'm one more gentle nudge in the wrong direction from starting a blood bath."

Rook gently squeezed Ben's hand, "No, you are not, because then Ben I know and love does not kill people." Ben looked up at Rook with soft green eyes and the start of a smile.

"And that there is another reason this doesn't make sense." Gwen continued, gesturing to the pair. "Both of us found love, real love, from those adventures. You denied Ben friendships and good memories and someone who loved him! We both spent years isolated! Nothing justifies that!"

"He's our SON! What, were we supposed to sit idly by and watch him suffer?!" Ben's father demanded.

Ben jumped to his feet, "YES! Yes, you were! Fuck me and my safety, I am literally meaningless compared to the lives of that many!"

"You don't see it now, but you'll thank us someday." his mother spoke softly.

"No, I won't, because this is over. I won't thank you for it because it won't have happened. I got my answers. That's all I wanted." Ben nodded to Professor Paradox, trying to ignore the bitterness growing inside.

Ben scrolled through the selection of aliens, picking the one he knew could help him. His dad jumped to his feet. Rook was immediately in front of Ben, glaring.

"Stay back." Rook warned.

"This is a mistake!" his dad protested.

"You're right, dad, this **is** a mistake. I'm fixing it." Ben glared, slapping the face of the Omnitrix. Ben felt the world fade away, the voices of the other Bens silencing.

Bellicus' voice boomed. "What do you want?"

Ben blinked up at the floating green disembodied faces, "I actually missed you guys."

"Is that all you came to say?" Bellicus asked.

"Oh, uh, no. I need to fix the timeline. Go back and prevent Vilgax from talking my parents out of letting me go on the summer trip. Or can I skip the time travel bit altogether and just make it so none of this ever happened?" Ben asked.

"Well, you can, but it's simply a matter of us agreeing and allowing it." Serena replied.

"But why would we?" Bellicus demanded. "Why not just make everyone suffer?"

"Because this isn't the life I want. I don't want Gwen, Kevin, and Rook to have these memories. Me not being a hero has probably cost so many lives." Ben held his hands out, green eyes filled with sincere concern. "I have to make this right. Please allow me to put things back the way they should be."

Serena sighed, "Well, he has my vote."

"And that's all I need." Ben smiled. "Thank you."

When Ben opened his eyes, he was still in his house, Alien X's form fading to Ben's human appearance. Rook was standing nearby. He eyed Ben, "Is everything alright?"

Ben looked around the room, hearing his parents chat quietly in the kitchen. "Where's Gwen and Kevin? Where'd Professor Paradox go?"

"What are you talking about?" Rook frowned.

Ben looked down at the Omnitrix, gaze softening as he realized it was the perfected version. "I guess it's all over then."

Rook stepped forward and put his arms around the human's waist, kissing his forehead, "Do you feel alright?" Rook's voice was gentle.

"Better than I have in awhile." Ben admitted. He hugged his partner, sighing happily. "Do you know I love you?"

"Yes, but… you are not filling me with confidence on your current mental state."

"Don't worry." Ben smiled. "I made everything better. This is paradise to me."

_And I'm never taking anything for granted ever again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all so much for reading my story! it does mean a lot. this was a surprisingly long ride. i hope you like this final chapter!
> 
> first, i'd like to thank my wonderful beta reader for double checking everything fot me and giving me advice when i was stuck.
> 
> second, i'd like to thank my friends for putting up with me pushing my fic into our conversations and supporting me.
> 
> third, i'd like to thank my therapist for giving me advice i can use irl and in my fics.
> 
> and finally, i'd like to thank you, reader, for being here with ben.

**Author's Note:**

> i accidentally backflipped into the ben 10 fandom and this happened.


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